Quite a few years ago I lost my cousin to suicide. I was very close with him and his sister. Recently been talking to her on messenger and talking about meeting up. Not in a good place and haven’t been ok for ages now. We both don’t cope with the loss very well to this day. There’s a lot that’s happened between us in the past and I’m scared that the talk of meeting and if that will actually be happening kinda worrying. I’ve also been in contact with foster carers family in the hope of becoming reconnected but something inside me is saying they want nothing to do with me as haven’t heard back from them. I just feel so alone.