Several months ago I set a possible date for when I would end it, even the method I would use. Well, I was working in the 'method' and I never did it because I enjoyed the work I was doing. Because I was alone. I am lonely and yet, I want to be alone. I don't understand. What I do understand is I just can't get along with people. I must rub everyone the wrong way, maybe they sense my darkness. I wish I could offer advice to those on SF but unfortunately I'm not clear of my sadness that's trailed me my whole life. And the worst part---I like it. It's a sick fascination. No one could possibly understand. My darkness is mine. It's something I feel and can understand.