missed my date

Discussion in 'Rants, Musings and Ideas' started by onenineteen, Sep 6, 2008.

  1. onenineteen

    onenineteen Antiquities Friend

    Several months ago I set a possible date for when I would end it, even the method I would use. Well, I was working in the 'method' and I never did it because I enjoyed the work I was doing.

    Because I was alone. I am lonely and yet, I want to be alone. I don't understand. What I do understand is I just can't get along with people. I must rub everyone the wrong way, maybe they sense my darkness.

    I wish I could offer advice to those on SF but unfortunately I'm not clear of my sadness that's trailed me my whole life.

    And the worst part---I like it. It's a sick fascination. No one could possibly understand. My darkness is mine. It's something I feel and can understand.
  2. Clockwork Reality

    Clockwork Reality Well-Known Member

    I feel very much the same way about myself. I often feel like I exist apart from the rest of humanity; that I am there but have no impact on the people around me. Kind of like an empty slot for an egg in an otherwise full carton. I'm there, but not. As a result, I draw into myself and I have to force myself to socialize with others. Thank god I've got some good neighbors who pull me out and make me do things occasionally.

    I'm glad that you missed your date. Keep your head up and I hope that you feel better.