Missing him Rant. Feel free to ignore

Discussion in 'Grief and Bereavement' started by Breathe, Apr 28, 2009.

  1. Breathe

    Breathe Well-Known Member

    I am not going to pretend i spent all my time with him.
    He was my favorite cousin but i didnt see him all that often.
    But still its hard you know?
    He death was sudden, 2 years old and murdered in the early hours by his "father" I still dream about it. The photo the newspapers still use despite it being a few years back since his murder was one i took. Every time i see it i just think of that happy, spring day. I was a happy teen girl back then, had everything going for me and i had my grand schemes of life and how it was going to plan out. I was getting ready for Air Cadets waiting for my mother to come back from the shop around the corner and i was baby sitting my cousin. He had somehow got my Beret despite being in his pram and had put it on he was such a character full of life and laughter. I had taken a photo with him on now the picture just haunts me. When i had to exchange the beret for a new one as it was falling apart i felt saddened...it was the beret he had put on but i do not carry my heart on my sleeve and let my Sgt take it, not saying a word.
    Everyone leant on me for support, that was when my depression started. I will never forget my cousin or forgive his murder. How can i? he took a toddlers life for no reason but his own depression. More fact he took his own son's life.

    Sorry this is just a rant. Ignore it if you wish.
  2. Petal

    Petal SF dreamer Staff Member Safety & Support SF Supporter

    I'm so sorry for your loss :( I hope you can manage to cope.
    I'm here if you need to talk x
  3. ~Claire

    ~Claire Well-Known Member

    I'm sorry to hear about the loss of your cousin.

    Sending you massive hugs :hug: xx
  4. WildCherry

    WildCherry Staff Member ADMIN

    I'm so sorry for your loss. *hugs* And it's okay that you can't forgive the person who killed him. I wouldn't be able to either. Everyone says you're supposed to be able to forgive, but it's not that easy.
  5. shades

    shades Staff Alumni

    That's not a rant at all. In fact, it was a clear, concise account of your feelings and I am deeply saddened to hear of this act and your loss. I often wondered how I would handle the loss of a relative I had contact with, especially one so young with no chance of a life. The cowardice involving acts against children is something that I will never understand. I hope you can take some solace in those few joyous moments you did have. I've always got time if you want to pm. My heart and thoughts are with you.
  6. Crue-K

    Crue-K Well-Known Member

    Sorry you are feeling this way at the moment. It is so hard to comprehend how people can hurt/kill children, all too often we are subjected to these evil acts and you can't help but feel so very repulsed by it, an with it being a menber of your family just intensifies the feeling. I hope the baby's so called father got the most severe punishment available.