I am not going to pretend i spent all my time with him. He was my favorite cousin but i didnt see him all that often. But still its hard you know? He death was sudden, 2 years old and murdered in the early hours by his "father" I still dream about it. The photo the newspapers still use despite it being a few years back since his murder was one i took. Every time i see it i just think of that happy, spring day. I was a happy teen girl back then, had everything going for me and i had my grand schemes of life and how it was going to plan out. I was getting ready for Air Cadets waiting for my mother to come back from the shop around the corner and i was baby sitting my cousin. He had somehow got my Beret despite being in his pram and had put it on he was such a character full of life and laughter. I had taken a photo with him on now the picture just haunts me. When i had to exchange the beret for a new one as it was falling apart i felt saddened...it was the beret he had put on but i do not carry my heart on my sleeve and let my Sgt take it, not saying a word. Everyone leant on me for support, that was when my depression started. I will never forget my cousin or forgive his murder. How can i? he took a toddlers life for no reason but his own depression. More fact he took his own son's life. Sorry this is just a rant. Ignore it if you wish.