missing my dad...

Discussion in 'Grief and Bereavement' started by x_WhiTe_Rose_x, Aug 25, 2006.

  1. :smile: hello everyone, im new to the forum and finding it quite a help that there r people like me in the same position. on the 15th of june this year, i got out of bed and ready to go into town. noticed that my dad was still in bed, which wasnt like him b'cos he was always an early bird, anyway he eventually got up around 1pm.at around 3pm just as i were going out, he asked me if i were going out, i just said yes and thought nothing of it, and as i were leaving he also said make sure the dogs in the garden and the front gate is shut so no neighbours come round [i thought nofing of this either because there was a man over the road always pestering him] i said okay and goodbye and he said goodbye love, and did as he said.i got a phone call at around 5pm off my mother asking me what time i left the house and telling me i needed to go home, i kept askin why and she told me that my dad had hung himself. i put the fone down on her i just burst into tears and could not believe what i had just heard.

    i am absolutly gutted, i didnt really have a good relationship with my dad but we were gettin on a lot better than we used to, and a few days before he did it he told me that he loved me, and that was something he never said. my mum was divorcin him and he was madly in love with her, he wrote her poems and bought her presents up untill he did what he did. im glad i got to say bye to my dad, maybe not the way i would have if i knew what he was about to do, but at least i said goodbye.im forever scared of goin places alone incase i see somebody hangin from somewher, sounds mad but its true, he did it in the house outside my room so im forever scared when im in bed.

    i think what he did was brave but very very selfish, and i would not wish this pain on anybody.he has not only killed his life, but also people around him.if he knew the affect on people that it has had, then i know he wouldnt have done it.i just now hope that he is in a better place n that he is suffering no more.

    we got the correnors report back and it was obviously strangulation [im sorry i cant spell :blink: Lol] and also that he had tried to kill himself with an overdose. i personally think that he got sick of waiting for them to kick in and just wanted it over and done with and took option B which was to hang himself.

    does anybody know anything about what happends when u hang yourself? isit instant i mean... sorry if that sounds abit forward but it would put me out my misery

    if anyone wants to private message me about anything please do :smile:
  2. Marshmallow

    Marshmallow Staff Alumni

    welcome to the forums

    im deeply sorry about your dad, im sure he loved you with all his heat.

    in response to your question about hanging, i cant answer that as iv never experienced it, but ill be honest with you as i think you deserve it, iv heard that hanging can be painful around the neck, like a burning sensation but after awhile you pass out, but im not completely sure, anyone else feel free to correct me if im wrong.

    stay strong thru this difficult time, feel free to pm or my email/msn address is in my profile if you ever wanna talk

    take care

    vikki xxx
  3. hiya vikki, thank u for ur reply :)
    i thought that once u snapped your neck u died..

    who knows tho. xx
  4. Marshmallow

    Marshmallow Staff Alumni

    to be honest i think the way you actually do the hanging may result in the way you die, i mean if you jump off a chair or something with some force that may result in breaking your neck, but breaking your neck doesn't mean that you automatically die, for example when in 7/7 bombs happened in london there was the women who i remember broke her neck due to the force of the blast but she die survived and had to wear a metal brace around her head until her neck healed. many people believe braking the neck will allways result in death but thas not true, i depends the way you break it normally it will end in paralysis (spelling? :unsure: ), but with hanging its like being strangled theres no oxygen getting in your body so your organs begin to shut down, after awhile of no oxygen you would begin to feel 'sleepy' then eventually you would pass out.

    sorry if this is upsetting

  5. oh yeh, well if u break something u automatically die, im not sure what it is but there deff is something <lol>

    if it were upsetting i wouldnt have asked :smile: i wanted to know and now i do, thank u again xxx
  6. Marshmallow

    Marshmallow Staff Alumni

    lol yeah there proberbly is but i know you can survive a broken neck

    take care during this difficult time

    im here if you need to talk :biggrin:

    vikki x :hug: