missing my Dad

Discussion in 'Grief and Bereavement' started by Dark Angel, Oct 14, 2011.

  1. Dark Angel

    Dark Angel Member

    I'm new here but I'm missing my dad. His birthday just passed a week ago and he killed himself last December. I feel so alone without him
  2. Sadeyes

    Sadeyes Staff Alumni

    I am so sorry for your loss..this is such a difficult time...please continue to share with us what is going on for you...my condolences again
  3. Dark Angel

    Dark Angel Member

    Thanks sadeyes. I've been in a continual state of depression since wondering if i just talked to him if he wouldn't have done it. I never looked at the stuff he did wrong and just forgave him no matter what happened to me, but this time was different and I turned my back on him.now i feel like its my fault and just wish i could close my eyes and never wake up again. I won't hurt myself but it's a neverending feeling of unforgiveness i have for my self and hollow emptiness that lingers
  4. Tea_at_Four

    Tea_at_Four Staff Alumni

    Birthdays are so tough when you're missing someone. Give yourself extra kindness, and be gentle with yourself. My dad suicided four years ago, and I miss him always, but as the years pass, I regain more of the joy of having him as my dad. I hope your happy memories can give you comfort through the tough times. I know it hurts so much. Take care.
  5. total eclipse

    total eclipse SF Friend Staff Alumni

    hun please don't blame you okay i too lost someone and it is hard Your father would not want you to blame yourself okay He was struggling and the pain just took him away You keep talking here okay and you can pm me anytime you just want someone to listen hugs to you
  6. 1Lefty

    1Lefty Well-Known Member

    Something that helps me is to touch or hold an object they held, a favorite pen, oft used and so a fountain of those caresses, if that makes sense. A hammer whose grip has grown smoother through years of caring use, it seems like maybe it has absorbed some of his energy. I even find myself using my wife's hairbrush. Now that's a treasured object.

    Best wishes, Bob
  7. jackrussell

    jackrussell Member

    Dark Angel - Have you tried any councelling / therapy ? I'm just wondering whether this helps , as I'm signing up for some

    I share your thoughts of wondering whether I could have should have spotted signals, haunted by some of the things my Dad had said to me in the past . . .

    He was such a great man i need to focus on the positive memories of him, at the moment its just too raw, so feeling numb and confused by it all

    I hope you find your peace

    Kind Regards
  8. Dark Angel

    Dark Angel Member

    thanks. I try to just think of the good times i can hold onto like when we would go for coffee
  9. Dark Angel

    Dark Angel Member

    The only thing i have of him is an old wooden box that is to hold jewelry n stuff. He left everything in another state before his death and I have no way of getting it back because th eowners of the place sold it all in a yard sale
  10. Dark Angel

    Dark Angel Member

    I juststarted but we haven't even talked about this yet. It's too raw for me too. Now that I think of it my Dad was eerily withdrawn from people a few months before his death and I think I just was what pushed him over the edge with ignoring him
  11. sretosf

    sretosf New Member

    Don't blame yourself. I doubt there is a person on this forum who hasn't thought 'what if?' or that if they had the time again that they wouldn't do things differently. Sadly we can't turn the clock back and, in time, we have to accept the decisions our loved ones made. My thoughts are with you.