Well, here i go. First time i am sharing my true feelings with the wider world. Met a girl at uni who i fell head over heels with. We were both completely in tune with each other. Very very compatiable. She was my true love.
Her parents married her off, (she is sikh .. i am muslim). She agreed and decided to put her family over me .. despite loving my with all her heart. I tried moving on, had a few girlfriends, nothing worked out. Got sick of it all and got an arranged marriage. Now i am in this marriage with this partner i am not happy with and don't love.
Recently (actually 2 years ago) she (my true love) started working at the same place i was. I minimised my contact with her as much as possible (we are still on very good terms) but the feelings keep coming back. She went away .. we said good byes and then came back on a project with another company. Then this time she went away, the goodbye got even harder .. especially from my side. I opened up my true feelings to her, and its still obvious she still feels a lot for me but for her her family comes first.
I feel empty and lost inside. When i am with her (just talking) i feel so alive and full of energy and zest. But without her i feel dead inside. I question why i am living and the point of it. I have thought of killing myself a number of times. Even tried aphyxiation with a cord but chickened out after i started getting dizzy.
I feel worse and worse ... and feel totally lost and feel there is no point living .. plz help .. how can i get through this? I want to live .. but i also want to die ...
Her parents married her off, (she is sikh .. i am muslim). She agreed and decided to put her family over me .. despite loving my with all her heart. I tried moving on, had a few girlfriends, nothing worked out. Got sick of it all and got an arranged marriage. Now i am in this marriage with this partner i am not happy with and don't love.
Recently (actually 2 years ago) she (my true love) started working at the same place i was. I minimised my contact with her as much as possible (we are still on very good terms) but the feelings keep coming back. She went away .. we said good byes and then came back on a project with another company. Then this time she went away, the goodbye got even harder .. especially from my side. I opened up my true feelings to her, and its still obvious she still feels a lot for me but for her her family comes first.
I feel empty and lost inside. When i am with her (just talking) i feel so alive and full of energy and zest. But without her i feel dead inside. I question why i am living and the point of it. I have thought of killing myself a number of times. Even tried aphyxiation with a cord but chickened out after i started getting dizzy.
I feel worse and worse ... and feel totally lost and feel there is no point living .. plz help .. how can i get through this? I want to live .. but i also want to die ...