This is LONG but please read..
I have officially missed NINETEEN days, count 'em, 19, days of school. All though in my school we only have about 8 or 7 weeks left, that's still way too many days I've missed in my opinion. I have been sick constantly, it's like my immune system is dead. Whenever someone is sick, I am bound to get it. I have not been very healthy the past few weeks. I've lost a lot of weight, I weigh around 151 now, and I am 5'8'' about. At the end of October, I was around 165. Now I'm 151, and I didn't even start trying to lose weight until late-mid or late February. And I am slightly paranoid - I'm so afraid that I might have cancer or a life threatening disease. I really wanted to be thin, and now, I somewhat am. It definitely wouldn't hurt me to eat more, I suppose, but since their were two days to where I was really self-conscience about my weight, I only ate like one thing during those two days, and due to that, my stomach has shrinked and my appetite has dropped. Now, I apparently should be eating more, but I can't. Even today, maybe because I have a sore throat and an achy stomach on and off, I have had nothing to eat, but I have kept fluids in me. I've pretty much stopped snacking, when I used to do it all the time: in fact, I was a pretty big boy, I ate a lot. In fact, it was somewhat unhealthy, my eating habits, but I really didn't gain any weight. I ate or snacked on something every hour or two, and I am not kidding. Now I eat three "meals" a day: consisting of a breakfast, a "lunch"(which isn't even a meal for me, just a snack, like strawberries or something) and then a solid dinner. I know that's probably not healthy, but I can't help it. I've lost all the weight I've desired too, how can I stop losing yet not gain it back? In fact, I weigh less than my girlfriend now, the one who I was calling so thin, if any of you remember that, and all though it's not by much, she weighs 153 or 154 and is 5'2''. This probably has to due with my perception of thin and fat in women: I like bigger girls, so girls who may in fact be overweight by a couple pounds I find very attractive and thin. It's to the point to where stereotyped skinny girls don't really even interest me. And just from being in a relationship with someone who I found thin, when in reality, she may not be, made me want to be thin, since I was fat in my own eyes, all though others found me as thin, I wasn't. Now, I have this stereotyped thin 'hot' girl who is coming onto me! I was like, "What the fuck?" to life. She saw my pictures on my MySpace, and they aren't full body shots, but she's agreeing with my girlfriend of three months that "I am cute." I'm thinking, "What the hell, you don't agree with someone's significant other that their partner is cute or whatever." In fact, I'm laughing at that whole ordeal. That was just beyond the funniest thing to me, considering she's only seen me in real life a few times and she is desperately clawing at my nuts. :laugh: It's just too funny and ironic to me. So, I guess that means I'm not as ugly as I take myself for, but I guess most of us are like that. Sorry, I just had to talk about some things...
I have officially missed NINETEEN days, count 'em, 19, days of school. All though in my school we only have about 8 or 7 weeks left, that's still way too many days I've missed in my opinion. I have been sick constantly, it's like my immune system is dead. Whenever someone is sick, I am bound to get it. I have not been very healthy the past few weeks. I've lost a lot of weight, I weigh around 151 now, and I am 5'8'' about. At the end of October, I was around 165. Now I'm 151, and I didn't even start trying to lose weight until late-mid or late February. And I am slightly paranoid - I'm so afraid that I might have cancer or a life threatening disease. I really wanted to be thin, and now, I somewhat am. It definitely wouldn't hurt me to eat more, I suppose, but since their were two days to where I was really self-conscience about my weight, I only ate like one thing during those two days, and due to that, my stomach has shrinked and my appetite has dropped. Now, I apparently should be eating more, but I can't. Even today, maybe because I have a sore throat and an achy stomach on and off, I have had nothing to eat, but I have kept fluids in me. I've pretty much stopped snacking, when I used to do it all the time: in fact, I was a pretty big boy, I ate a lot. In fact, it was somewhat unhealthy, my eating habits, but I really didn't gain any weight. I ate or snacked on something every hour or two, and I am not kidding. Now I eat three "meals" a day: consisting of a breakfast, a "lunch"(which isn't even a meal for me, just a snack, like strawberries or something) and then a solid dinner. I know that's probably not healthy, but I can't help it. I've lost all the weight I've desired too, how can I stop losing yet not gain it back? In fact, I weigh less than my girlfriend now, the one who I was calling so thin, if any of you remember that, and all though it's not by much, she weighs 153 or 154 and is 5'2''. This probably has to due with my perception of thin and fat in women: I like bigger girls, so girls who may in fact be overweight by a couple pounds I find very attractive and thin. It's to the point to where stereotyped skinny girls don't really even interest me. And just from being in a relationship with someone who I found thin, when in reality, she may not be, made me want to be thin, since I was fat in my own eyes, all though others found me as thin, I wasn't. Now, I have this stereotyped thin 'hot' girl who is coming onto me! I was like, "What the fuck?" to life. She saw my pictures on my MySpace, and they aren't full body shots, but she's agreeing with my girlfriend of three months that "I am cute." I'm thinking, "What the hell, you don't agree with someone's significant other that their partner is cute or whatever." In fact, I'm laughing at that whole ordeal. That was just beyond the funniest thing to me, considering she's only seen me in real life a few times and she is desperately clawing at my nuts. :laugh: It's just too funny and ironic to me. So, I guess that means I'm not as ugly as I take myself for, but I guess most of us are like that. Sorry, I just had to talk about some things...
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