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missing

#1
hi all. i don't necessarily need help. but i do need to talk. i lost my sister on valentine's day. my only sibling. she was my best friend. she was like every single good trait put into a single person. we did everything together. absolutely everything. you know how you can have soulmates other than in a romantic sense? yeah. i truly believe my sister was my soulmate. my heart was always so full around her and she made my life so much better. she was so proud of me for no reason. i am literally a mess yet she always found something in me that made her proud. every morning, she would wake me up by screaming then giving me forehead kisses. for the last two weeks i wouldn't let her because i was all moody and gross and stuff. but what would i give to simply just have her wake me up again. or laugh. or smile. we planned everything in our future together. i named all of her kids and she gave her youngest child my middle name. she meant so much to me. i am truly so empty. everything in me is gone. everything. i know, "she wouldn't want me to feel this way" ,but what other way can i feel? i've lost the biggest piece of me i think? my world has come to a stop but the world around me keeps going. i still have to work. i still have to do normal things but nothing will ever be normal again. i have never missed someone as much as i am missing her right now. i'll miss her forever. i loved her so much. anyway. yeah. that's all. thanks.
 
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#4
That's awful, I'm sorry that happened.

While I'm glad that you had someone so wonderful in your life, losing someone so wonderful is especially painful.

Do you want to say more about her and what happened?

Sending hugs

i would if you would like to hear, but it's quite brutal and i wouldn't want to make you uncomfortable at all
 
#5
i wouldn't want to make you uncomfortable at all
My way of looking at it is that bad things are out there whether I know about them or not. If knowing about a bad thing in some way makes things slightly less bad, then I'd much rather know about the bad things.

Please don't worry. Please tell me if you'd like to.
 

Champagne

✯✯ Heart of an angel ✯✯
Staff Alumni
SF Supporter
#6
Hello there, I am so terribly sorry for your awful, sad loss. Couldn't even imagine what you are going through right now.

I would like to hear more too if you are wiling to share, it might help you to let it out, get some of the ''frustration'' (sorry at a loss for the right word) off your shoulders. Don't worry SF is a safe place for you to share your pain and loss.

If you feel it may make some people uncomfortable you could add a trigger warning before writing it out. We may be strangers but we know what it feels like to feel so low and in so much pain, as peers and people that care, we are here for you.

May you find peace and see the light and know you are not alone and do not have to suffer in silence. If we can lessen your pain in any way we would be more than willing to. *hug
 
#7
My way of looking at it is that bad things are out there whether I know about them or not. If knowing about a bad thing in some way makes things slightly less bad, then I'd much rather know about the bad things.

Please don't worry. Please tell me if you'd like to.
Hello there, I am so terribly sorry for your awful, sad loss. Couldn't even imagine what you are going through right now.

I would like to hear more too if you are wiling to share, it might help you to let it out, get some of the ''frustration'' (sorry at a loss for the right word) off your shoulders. Don't worry SF is a safe place for you to share your pain and loss.

If you feel it may make some people uncomfortable you could add a trigger warning before writing it out. We may be strangers but we know what it feels like to feel so low and in so much pain, as peers and people that care, we are here for you.

May you find peace and see the light and know you are not alone and do not have to suffer in silence. If we can lessen your pain in any way we would be more than willing to. *hug
TW: death?? i guess

basically, it was on valentine's day. my sister's husband killed her in front of her children. and then he left. he left them in the house with her just lying there. i can't imagine how betrayed and sad she must have felt. the upstairs neighbor said that before her husband did what he did, she was only protecting her kids, not herself. she did such a wonderful job at protecting her kids though, obviously. i just wish i could've been there for her to protect her. i wish she didn't love her husband as much as she did, but that's just who she was. she wanted love so badly and when she finally thought she had it, it ended up ruining her. anyway. yeah. i wish that the love from me and her kids was enough for her, but i get it. her husband is just so disgusting. i have never hated someone until now. i hate him.
 

Champagne

✯✯ Heart of an angel ✯✯
Staff Alumni
SF Supporter
#8
Hello again - thanks for adding the trigger warning for others who may stumble upon this post.

Gosh, I am so sorry. What an amazing ,heroic woman to protect her beloved children in such a horrifying and betraying way. She sounds like she was an amazing mom and sister and its just terrifying what happened to her.

It has only been a short time frame since her poor soul was taken, have you considered grief counseling? Ye were obviously very close...the poor kids too of course, this is one of the most saddening things I have came across here on SF.

I think you and the children could benefit from counseling. I know.... you must be in pieces and heartbroken. As you said yourself ''she wouldn't want you to feel this way'' and I'm sure in a sense that is true but I also believe as your soulmate she would want you to be there for her children and guide and protect them.

It is rare when I cannot think of comforting words on SF.... as I'm sure you are still frozen in shock right now but suicide I don't believe is the way forward. Grief stricken, angry, shocked, in pieces, please take some time to reflect and remember all the beautiful times you had with your soulmate and all the wonderful memories ye made together, memories last forever. We are here for you and will listen and will try and help you as much as possible. I don't blame you one bit for hating him... anger and grief comes in all shapes and forms, everyone reacts differently to different situations and yes of course this one is one of disbelief and horror.

I am sincerely so sorry for the loss of your sister, your soulmate, your best friend. Please hold onto the good memories, try and deal with the anger in a safe and healthy way (as extremely hard as feels right now ) as you must be dealing with shock, disbelief, guilt, fear of the what the future holds, emptiness and despair and look after no.1 priority. YOU.

See a counselor, they can guide you and teach you coping mechanisms and its also very important the children are seeing counsellors too. An experienced therapist can help you work through intense emotions and overcome obstacles to your grieving.

From one peer to another - you are not alone and do not have to go through this alone. SF is here for this very reason, to talk your heart and mind, please ty your best to stay safe and protect yourself during this very distressing time.
 
#9
Hello again - thanks for adding the trigger warning for others who may stumble upon this post.

Gosh, I am so sorry. What an amazing ,heroic woman to protect her beloved children in such a horrifying and betraying way. She sounds like she was an amazing mom and sister and its just terrifying what happened to her.

It has only been a short time frame since her poor soul was taken, have you considered grief counseling? Ye were obviously very close...the poor kids too of course, this is one of the most saddening things I have came across here on SF.

I think you and the children could benefit from counseling. I know.... you must be in pieces and heartbroken. As you said yourself ''she wouldn't want you to feel this way'' and I'm sure in a sense that is true but I also believe as your soulmate she would want you to be there for her children and guide and protect them.

It is rare when I cannot think of comforting words on SF.... as I'm sure you are still frozen in shock right now but suicide I don't believe is the way forward. Grief stricken, angry, shocked, in pieces, please take some time to reflect and remember all the beautiful times you had with your soulmate and all the wonderful memories ye made together, memories last forever. We are here for you and will listen and will try and help you as much as possible. I don't blame you one bit for hating him... anger and grief comes in all shapes and forms, everyone reacts differently to different situations and yes of course this one is one of disbelief and horror.

I am sincerely so sorry for the loss of your sister, your soulmate, your best friend. Please hold onto the good memories, try and deal with the anger in a safe and healthy way (as extremely hard as feels right now ) as you must be dealing with shock, disbelief, guilt, fear of the what the future holds, emptiness and despair and look after no.1 priority. YOU.

See a counselor, they can guide you and teach you coping mechanisms and its also very important the children are seeing counsellors too. An experienced therapist can help you work through intense emotions and overcome obstacles to your grieving.

From one peer to another - you are not alone and do not have to go through this alone. SF is here for this very reason, to talk your heart and mind, please ty your best to stay safe and protect yourself during this very distressing time.

thank you so much. your words have helped. thank you for speaking so highly of her despite not knowing her at all. i think i will be getting a counselor soon. my nephews will be too. i think they set that up through their school. but yes, i will take care of them and remind them how much their mother loved them. her love for them was so strong. so, so strong. i have to make sure they never stop feeling that. agh okay sorry uhm anyway. i appreciate your support and help. it means so much to me. i will try to work on myself if i can.
 

Champagne

✯✯ Heart of an angel ✯✯
Staff Alumni
SF Supporter
#10
You are very welcome *hug

It's good to know your nephews will be getting a counselor soon, it may be a long road of recovery but with professional help they will get through this from their love their mom gave them and through resilience.

Ye all sound like a close tight knit family and together ye will pull through, this is the start on the grieving process and recovery will follow and if you keep reaching out online and offline for support and care, you will overcome all obstacles, you can be their role model, I don't know how old they are but you will be there to tell them how wonderful and loving she was and of course protective, I can sense through your words she was a woman who would have done anything for her boys, a true hero and you her soulmate who speaks so highly of her speaks volumes on how amazing she was and this is heartbreaking for you, as I sense, resilience is the key.

SF has helped so many through the years from many, many different situations, including myself overcome suicidal thoughts and now we are here to help you get through this horrendous time, it can be done and we will do whatever it takes to overcome this and listen, care and support from one peer to another.

Bless. May your sister and soulmate rest in peace. 💞🌹🌹🌹
 

Lady Wolfshead

"Peace comes from within" - The Buddha
#11
I am so, so very sorry to hear of your loss. I must admit it also makes me very angry because years ago I volunteered at a shelter for battered women and I am so enraged to think that anyone believes their own rage or hurt entitles them to take another persons' life. I hope he goes to jail for a long time.

I agree counselling will help you and I sure hope her kids are getting counselling as well, and they are safe from their father.

Right now, you are in extreme trauma and please be gentle with yourself. I have never lost a sister but a few years ago I lost a friend I called my "little brother" because we were so close. Counselling helped me. One technique the counsellor told me to use throughout the day is a very easy meditation that takes just a minute or two - stand with your feet on any surface (ideally grass) and think about your feet and your connection to the earth. Think about how the world is turning under your feet. Take deep breaths. That's it. It's no miracle but it is proven to lower cortisol (stress hormone).

Sending you prayers and very best wishes.
 
#12
I'm so sorry that this happened @kay.colnic. It's understandable that this has been a huge source of grief and stress for you.

It would be hard to lose someone that you loved so much under any circumstances, but especially hard to lose to her so suddenly and in such a horrible way.

I guess I don't have any other words at the moment, and maybe that's best.

Hugs Kay
 

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