Mistakes and Thoughts....

Discussion in 'Suicidal Thoughts and Feelings' started by brknsilence, Feb 6, 2016.

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  1. brknsilence

    brknsilence Well-Known Member

    I think I messed up once again. Why can't I just be perfect or not mess things up? I also hate how I keep getting thoughts like this every time I make a mistake. Just wish I could allow myself to make mistakes and not thinking I deserve death because of those mistakes or every time I do make a mistake. So much I got to do to change. So exhausted in just me being me.... :(
     
  2. SillyOldBear

    SillyOldBear Teddy Bear Fanatic Staff Member Safety & Support

    Oh wow! I wish I had a penny for every time I made a mistake. I would be richer than Bill Gates.

    Brkn, we all make mistakes. Every day. Perfection is just not possible for us humans. And, like you, I excel at beating myself up after I make a mistake. At least after some of them. And, of course, it doesn't fix anything. I wind up feeling bad about making the mistake and feeling bad about feeling bad about making the mistake. I think all of us find it easier to forgive other people, then to forgive ourselves.

    So please, keep working at forgiving yourself and being kind to yourself. Most of the mistakes we make are quickly forgotten and forgiven by others. And they certainly don't merit beating ourselves up about, or deciding we deserve death. As to perfection, I think it is highly over-rated. Life truly is a journey. And one of the tasks of that journey is working on our imperfections. We will never resolve them all. We should never expect that of ourselves. All we can do is the best we can. And hopefully learn how to forgive ourselves, just as we forgive others.
     
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  3. sahel

    sahel SF Supporter

    Being sad/angry with ourselves for our mistakes is a good thing because it helps us to have extra push/energy for making things up. But if it exceeds some limit, the negative impact of the frustration is higher. I have these two rule of thumbs which are somewhat similar to what is mentioned in above posts. I ask these two questions: 1- If someone else were the judge, would he/she forgive me or not? 2-If someone else had made my mistake, would I forgive them and give them another chance to make things up, or not? You would find that most (if not all) of the times your answers to both of the questions would be positive, and it means you are too harsh to yourself, which is not constructive.
     
  4. NYJmpMaster

    NYJmpMaster Have a question? Message Me Staff Member Forum Owner ADMIN

    It is easy to be angry with ourselves for every little mistake- and we all tend to hold ourselves to a ridiculous standard we would never expect out of others. The way i try to think of it is simple- Pretend I am a some 3rd party and was watching. If I saw somebody as upset with another person for making the same mistake as I made,and treating them as badly for that mistake as I was treating myself , would I think that was a good person or a judgmental ass? I don't ever want to be that person that can never overlook the smallest flaw - even if it is in myself. I hope you can learn to treat yourself like you would expect others to treat each other... You certainly deserve at least that much.
     
  5. Petal

    Petal SF dreamer Staff Alumni SF Supporter

    My life is one big mistake after another, every day. Don't feel so bad sweetie. We are all too hard on ourselves at time and sometimes we just have to accept what is done is done. Give yourself a break, no one is this world is perfect *hugs*
     
  6. brknsilence

    brknsilence Well-Known Member

    Thanks everyone - I'm a bit better this morning and trying my best to let go of my mistakes. Hoping today goes well and I don't feel like a complete mess especially going to church with the kids alone (my husband is working today). I just don't want people looking me and finding another mistake I do to call the police. Which will have me believing I'm a complete failure. I hope it goes okay.
     
  7. Rambler

    Rambler Member

    BrknSilence,

    Everyone makes mistakes. You are perfectly imperfect. Don't belittle yourself, ever. In fact, pat yourself on the back as it takes courage to admit to one's mistakes. Hang in there.
     
    brknsilence likes this.
  8. brknsilence

    brknsilence Well-Known Member

    Thank you - hugs
     
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