Following on from todays episode (see "Dead Again") Ive had a big breakthrough, or at least I think it is. Finally, after suffering for years since my last big breakdown, I made a full "confession" to my mother. (well almost) I laid it all out for her, we talked for over an hour. I told her exactly how I felt, whats causing it, and how Ive hidden it over the years. Since my last stint in the day clinic and a period of self recovery after that..she thought I had been getting better, but the truth is nothing changed. I just got better at putting it off. But today everything just hit me like a brick wall. I felt the lowest I had felt for a very long time, just desperate to get some kind of help. Even after telling my mother as much as I can (aside from a couple of really personal issues), I still feel really flat, but at least there appears to be some hope. Ive started taking some of the anti-depressants she was prescribed, on Thursday I have an oppointment to see the doctor about something else, and at the same time im going to ask her to recommend me to a therapist or somebody to help. Ive decided im taking this weekend off, I cant face work atm. I need to call first thing in the tommorow morning. There gonna be pissed. So small steps at this stage, but perhaps this is the beginning of some kind of change. Ill try to keep this thread updated with progress.