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Moderate Revelation

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Forgotten_Man

Well-Known Member
#1
So I just had a moderate revelation. So I always run around talking about how relationships and having other people around is not something I need. But I am starting to think that this is complete and utter crap flying from my mouth. I mean really if this were the truth I would not really be trying to justify it so much, nor would I be thinking about it so much.

So I guess my point is that I should not be thinking about how I do not need others around so much. I am starting to think that me justifying why I hate other people and have no desire to have others around. So recently I have begun to think that this is just my loneliness escaping from me. Really when I make these posts I am generally really pissed off and sad. Generally loneliness is a negative emotion. But not one I am proud to admit. So instead I convert it to anger and bitterness and THEN let it all out. I mean why else would something like "Why I do not need people" be on my mind so much.

I don't know, but this makes sense to me. Does it make sense to anyone else?
 
#2
Yes. I try to convince myself I don't need friends/relationships etc because I'm scared and push them away, but truth is I'm lonely...why else do I spend so much time in chat lol. I understand the angry bit too I think...I probably come across as angry or another word which i cant remember right now, but truth is i think i'm just trying to stop from admitting these things and frustrated at myself..I dunno if that makes sense..? So its like saying we don't need people makes us feel better about the fact that we dont have relationships etc?
 

Forgotten_Man

Well-Known Member
#3
Yes. I try to convince myself I don't need friends/relationships etc because I'm scared and push them away, but truth is I'm lonely...why else do I spend so much time in chat lol. I understand the angry bit too I think...I probably come across as angry or another word which i cant remember right now, but truth is i think i'm just trying to stop from admitting these things and frustrated at myself..I dunno if that makes sense..? So its like saying we don't need people makes us feel better about the fact that we dont have relationships etc?
That made more sense than you might think. Though I have not been doing the pushing away of people. But yes it is like a justification. Just like my saying "If it was ment to be then it would happen on its own and I would not have to do any work".

It is hard to say if I am feeling better about it though
 
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