Mom...

Discussion in 'Rants, Musings and Ideas' started by Perfectly Imperfect, Sep 7, 2007.

  1. Dear Mom-Why did you have to say the things that you did?! You know damn well that it hurt every one of your kids and you don't seem to give a shit. You have thrown away two of your kids as if they are nothing and you are working on a third right now (ME!) I'm sure when Shane realizes that he can do what he wants to do, what will truly make him happy, you will throw him away as well. That way you and Don can have a happy, carefree life with no fuckin kids to care about. I still love you, and I wish that I could fix everything but obviously can't. It seems you don't want anything to do with us yet you drag me into all of this instead of dealing with it as an adult would. You're 40 years old for fuck's sake and if you have been through so much, as you say you have, and you have had to mature early, as you say you have, THEN ACT LIKE IT! I wish that I had to courage to send this to you right now, but I can't. I can't hurt you. I know that you are lying to me, and you have been for my whole fuckin life-when you tell me that you love me and my brothers...how can you say that when you forget that two of them exist?! You talk shit about dad constantly and I've done enough research myself to prove you wrong on nearly everything you've said about him. I recently found out the truth, that you are the one to lead a life of crime and deceit, you are the one who went to jail for writing hot checks and what not. You don't have to tell me, but if you are going to make my father look bad, tell the truth about yourself as well! I hate the way you let Don control you and your every thought and action. He has no right to do that to you, in any sense and he never will. Be the woman that you claim to be mom, step up and defend yourself for once. Be yourself, let the good in you show for once mom. Today when I talked to you I was in tears. I couldn't stand to listen to you act like nothing was wrong and anything that happened was my fault. That's all true right?! Yeah, I'm the one who gave up my children, forgot that they existed and lied to the others to make myself look good. I'm the one who let's my husband control my every move because he "loves" me. IT'S BULLSHIT MOM! Snap back to reality. And how about, next time I ask to talk to Shane, actually go and ask him instead of being gone for two seconds and saying he doesn't want to talk to me. I know that you said that to make me feel like shit and guess what?! IT WORKED! I hope that you are happy mom, and I'm sorry that I have failed you so horribly. I'm sorry that I can't be your perfect little girl and I'm sorry I haven't done what you want me to do. I'm sorry I can now live my life the way I want to and I'm sorry that I'm beginning to discover who I really am, without your help! I'm sorry that I'm depressed and I'm sorry that I'm suicidal. I'm sorry for everything I've ever done.

    Sorry for the rant guys. :shy:
     
  2. Cath

    Cath Staff Alumni

    Loads of :hug: s

    Here if you need to talk
     
  3. Spearmint

    Spearmint Well-Known Member

    :hug: x549875646.
    Here anytime, hun.
     
  4. Snowman

    Snowman Well-Known Member

    Silly mums..

    Desire :arms: :arms: :arms:
     
  5. vbuk

    vbuk Staff Alumni

    sweetie im so sorry - but im glad u got that out of u. u know that im always here for u.

    zillions of hugs

    love you x

    clare xxx