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Discussion in 'Grief and Bereavement' started by mamakat, Sep 27, 2009.

  1. mamakat

    mamakat New Member

    My mom died in March. I took care of her for the last few months of her life, was with her holding her hand when she passed. People tell me how lucky she was to have had me take care of her..I am haunted by memories of the her last few months, it's all I think about. She was so thin, and in so much pain, and just not herself...She cried out for her mother and her sister..Sometimes I wish that I wasn't the one that took care of her.My brother only has good memories because he never even came to see her when she was dying.I am just heartbroken and I still think about her all the time and cannot believe I will never see her again. Where did she go?
    I feel like I will never be the same again. Never be happy again. My marriage will never be the same again, it is so broken.
    thanks for reading
  2. Shadowlands

    Shadowlands Official SF Hugger Staff Alumni SF Supporter

    Sorry to hear that :hug:
  3. Petal

    Petal SF dreamer Staff Member Safety & Support SF Supporter

    Im sorry :hug:
  4. total eclipse

    total eclipse SF Friend Staff Alumni

    Your mother died knowing how loved she was You helped helped her and she was not alone with her suffering. What a great gift you gave her. What compassion you have. Your mom would now want you to move on and remember her when she was well and strong she would not want you remembering her this way. think about the happy times you shared keep that with you keep her love with you. You have the peace of knowing when she needed you you were there I know she would not want this saddness for her daughter she would want you happy. I am sorry for your loss and sorry you have so much pain please try to keep the happy thoughts of your mom close to you now.
  5. mookies mum

    mookies mum Member

    Im so sorry to hear you lost your Mum its so sad and nothing anyone will say will ever take away the pain and loss you are feeling. You were with her and she knew you loved her and she loved you try to feel her love all around you I know its hard but we have to keep going. I loss my mum and dad 13 years ago they died 3 weeks apart, and I still miss them so much and then my daughter died 5 years ago and my heart broke all over again. Some days are really rotten and some days are bearable. Life is hard
  6. sucidalgirl99

    sucidalgirl99 Well-Known Member

    I'm sorry to hear that. May she rest in peace. Don't worry, she's in a better place, I'm sure.
  7. OceanBlue2

    OceanBlue2 Member

    Big, big hugs to you...

    My dad was diagnosed with prostate cancer just recently, and he isn't expected to survive long. My mother-in-law died 2 years after her initial diagnosis with colon cancer, and I saw what that did to my husband. I can only imagine what you have gone through, sweetie.

    I know my road is long ahead of me, but I read these stories, and you know what? You were there for her. You loved her. You cared for her. This is what life is about. It's hard, and we love them, so we care for them. And you did this in the most loving of ways.

    Cherish those memories. I know you already do, but you were THERE for her. She loves you so much, and I know it.
  8. nelly

    nelly Banned Member

    im sure your mom is watching over you as it is now her turn to try and care for you as much as she can from afar. trust in your moms love.
  9. bubblin girl

    bubblin girl Well-Known Member

    im so sorry to hear that.the bad momory take time.maybe you should look at video & pic before she was sick to remomories the happy momory of her.
    The good momory is in you,within you,shes your mom,so dont worry about it,it will come to you later.you just hold on sweet heart.Hope you feel better soon.
    take care :hug:
  10. gentlelady

    gentlelady Staff Alumni

    I was the one to care for my dad when he was going through his last days. I understand how you feel. I was also with him when he passed away. I watched the suffering. The firsts were always so difficult-first Christmas, first birthday, first sporting event for my children, etc. With time it does change. The sadness does not invade your every thought and you have days that the memories will stay with the good times. It has not been long since you lost her. Your mother was blessed to have you by her side in her final moments. She felt the love you gave her. There is no greater gift than that. :hug:
  11. mulberrypie

    mulberrypie Well-Known Member

    :hug: i dont really have words to express how sad this is. you are a good daughter and you did all you could. i know that doesn't stop it from hurting. i hope time will heal your pain.