1. This site uses cookies. By continuing to use this site, you are agreeing to our use of cookies. Learn More.

momentary relapse

Discussion in 'Mental Health Disorders' started by GreyCat, Jan 11, 2011.

Thread Status:
Not open for further replies.
  1. GreyCat

    GreyCat Well-Known Member

    I've been taking Lexapro for about 6 weeks, it started working very quickly, its taken away the depression very effectively. I just feel normal. Really normal. Not numb, I still get teary eyed watching tv, but I'm really myself again, its really working. Today I had a relapse, just for a few minutes.

    I was flooded with self hating thoughts, panic, a need to run away and hide from the people around me, I was thinking about hitting and stabbing at myself because for some reason the thought of it calms me when I feel like I'm going to scream. I was freaked out, I thought it was going to escalate, that I was going to be back in that raw twisted feeling of having a huge knot in my throat, my chest, my belly. that feeling of never being able to relax, of hating everything I say and do and wishing fate would take the decision from my hands and just fucking kill me.

    But it didn't, it flared up for a second but then it was gone again and I felt alright.

    I really hope the meds dont stop working. I wonder if I need to up the dosage. I still feel a thousand times better than I did before. I hate this depression. I hate it so much. I hate the thought that its all chemical. That I would be perfect if I could just be me without this fuck up in my head. I don't want it to last forever, and I dont want to be on antidepressants forever. Now that I've been reminded of how I can be when I'm not depressed I really don't want to go back to it ever and today freaked me out a bit. I've been happier in the last month than I have been for years and years.
     
  2. total eclipse

    total eclipse SF Friend Staff Alumni

    I would definetly bring up what happen to your doctor okay get this problem looked at now. I am glad the medication has been working well for you. Call Gp or pdoc as soon as you can hugs
     
  3. GreyCat

    GreyCat Well-Known Member

    HI T.E
    Thanks for your reply, I will see my doctor next week. Have been feeling ok since that day. Am just going to read as much as I can about what I'm on, I think it pays to visit the doctor pre informed! Hope all is good with you!
     
Thread Status:
Not open for further replies.