Moments revealed

Discussion in 'Poet's Corner' started by thesemomentsastheypass, Mar 22, 2008.

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  1. thesemomentsastheypass

    thesemomentsastheypass Well-Known Member

    First, let me apologise for the shameless indulgence of this post.

    Some time ago I completed this 'assignment' on a poetry website. The title was 'Highway 101 Me'. The idea being that willing people would strip themselves bare (or as close to it as they were comfortable with), via a list of 101 things about themselves.

    I offer myself up here, and would encourage others to do the same. I found it a fairly valuable experience. Not always pretty though :sad:

    Don't worry about the number of lines. I'm sure mine's not 101.


    I am riddled with self-doubt
    I am a work in progress
    I am tired of striving and wish I could just live
    I have instructed strangers to stain me with inked needles
    For reasons that reach far beneath the skin
    I am always on the brink of tears or laughter, but mostly do neither
    The people that I should show this list to will be denied it
    I know that I am squeezing the passion out of myself
    I have little faith in the world
    I have no faith in religion
    I want children but can’t find anyone I love enough to share them
    I would make an excellently flawed father
    I find it impossible to be confident and funny around females I am attracted to
    And I am the most desirable man in the world to females I am not attracted to
    I always turn the pillow over to the cold side
    And change position at least twice before falling asleep
    In dreams where I’m falling, I always wake up
    I cannot fight in dreams
    I have no money to give and I hoard myself
    Since I gave myself away and got nothing in return
    I have an aching body
    I daydream about taking the pain away
    I’ve been around the world twice
    But don’t know the name of the street opposite
    I have been in love once
    I have said ‘I love you’ to three people
    I like the way I look from the front
    I hate my profile
    I always have some facial hair
    I feel naked and exposed without it
    I like to speak the truth to people
    I realise some people are more comfortable with lies
    I am highly regarded
    For the wrong reasons
    I have rejected the normality I am expected to embrace
    And I now don’t fit in
    I have a heart made entirely out of scar tissue
    And a splintered soul
    But perfect skin
    Conversations with myself always end in argument
    I worked hard at school
    And believe it made no difference to anything
    All the valuable lessons were tutored by my mum
    I have ambitions to make lots of money
    So that other people will be impressed before I say anything
    I hate that the lump of metal you sit in on roads should define you in any way
    I visited a traditional market in Thailand
    And bought an Oral-B toothbrush
    I hate making lists
    I love the rain on a warm, still day
    I resolve other people’s problems but not my own
    And am more concerned about theirs than my own
    And am more concerned about theirs than they are
    And I hate the rain on cold, windy days
    Freshly mowed grass, a forest after rain, anything cooking when I’m hungry
    These smells make me shiver
    My head spins at a hundred miles an hour
    This increases as physical activity decreases
    This is why sleep eludes me all too often
    I slipped so far that now I guess you don’t think of me at all
    Where once you thought of me all day, with a trapeze artist in your stomach
    How did we get from there to here?
    I am wide awake at night and ready for bed in the morning
    I am a Balsa wood spirit inside a body of teak
    I look unfriendly, but I just want you to come and talk to me
    I live mostly in the future
    And sometimes in the past
    I spend time on meaningless pursuits
    In order that I may avoid doing something of consequence
    Hats all of a sudden suit me
    Inspiration can hit me in Tsunami-like waves
    I let it all but wash away before acting
    I believe animals have prettier faces than humans
    I edge toward many cliffs
    I need to learn to jump off more
    Butterflies and trapeze artists perish when I co-habit
    I have two hearts
    One beats with optimism and joy, the other pumps pessimism and sorrow
    I wonder why man can put beauty on a page, but not on a landscape
    A quotable sentence impresses more than almost anything else
    It’s rare that I get this far with any pursuit
    I need to meet a girl who regards complexities of character a reason to delve
    And not to raise the alarm
    I preach to others what I believe in, and reject it for myself
    I collapse inside everyday
    I don’t like to impose myself
    I genuinely feel I am too much for a person to take
    You would find me imposing
    I’ve discovered I find poems that don’t rhyme more powerful than those that do
    Because one more restraint has been removed
    I know people who will feed my ego
    I want someone who will feed my soul
    I let myself down all the time
    But I won’t give up on myself
    Because I only need to get it right once
    My head tells me that nothing’s really wrong
    And my heart knows that nothing is really right
    I ponder the merits of rock bottom
    If everything’s infinite isn’t it possible to just keep falling?
    I take the sunset for granted, but I don’t love it any less
    I have one good reason to stay and a thousand better ones to leave
    I am too shallow to be with someone plain
    And too insecure to be with someone beautiful
    I laugh with gusto in my sleep
    So I guess I have a happy sub conscious
    I believe there is a saviour on every street corner, given the right circumstances
    I swing from despair to euphoria in a cat’s heartbeat
    I know that cats’ hearts beat twice as fast as humans’
    And I know when I’ve out-stayed my welcome

    Ask anyone, they’ll tell you I’m happy-go-lucky
  2. danni

    danni Chat Buddy

  3. theleastofthese

    theleastofthese SF Friend Staff Alumni

    :hug: I like it!
  4. thesemomentsastheypass

    thesemomentsastheypass Well-Known Member

    Nobody fancy giving it a bash?

    You know you want to :rolleyes:
  5. ACRon

    ACRon Well-Known Member

    i liked it, but as my mother would say, a fool and their money are easily parted. hence why i haven't had a 'go'
    Last edited by a moderator: Mar 22, 2008
  6. thesemomentsastheypass

    thesemomentsastheypass Well-Known Member

    Your mother is prudent with her advice.

    Rest assured this exercise is free of charge.

    Edited due to poor wording. Sorry.
    Last edited by a moderator: Mar 22, 2008
  7. ACRon

    ACRon Well-Known Member

    i would, but she stopped talking to me, i hate that bitch, really. But i really don't see any need to put 101 confessions on the web, i'd feel naked and vulnerable.
  8. thesemomentsastheypass

    thesemomentsastheypass Well-Known Member

    Fair enough.

    Personally, this is the only place in which I don't feel that way. We are afforded anonymity, irrespective of what we reveal about ourselves (name, address and phone number aside :blink: ).

    Nonetheless, I completely understand your point.

  9. ACRon

    ACRon Well-Known Member

    i see where your coming from

    however, point you made there about anonymity though. I have to doubt that. for two reasons. people who are considering suicide are considering committing a crime. people at risk are watched (in my estimation, i could be wrong or just para though i suppose) thats not to say your suicidal but others who post here are

    the second reason is that your anonymity could be subject to your subconscous mind not yet revealing the implications of what you are saying in their entirity. I don't know you, you've probs been way further into your subconcous than me and therefore are fearless in what you could reveal by posting that, and at a later date regretting it.
  10. thesemomentsastheypass

    thesemomentsastheypass Well-Known Member

    Hi Sketches,

    You wrote : I don't know you, you've probs been way further into your subconcous than me

    And that's really my point - you don't know me. Nobody on here does. I don't walk around in a T shirt with this stuff printed.

    I could argue also that some of the poetry on here is far more revealing than the post I made above - I really feel I've only fleshed out a little of my character. I've certainly gone further into specifics in some of my poems.

    I can probably help you with your paranoia - suicide ceased to be illegal in the UK in 1961. So no criminal act would be being contemplated. Assisting suicide remains illegal. Please don't take this as endorsement. But there are no men in suits watching anyone.

    I'm not there at the moment - I really hope you are not. If you are, drop me a line and I would be happy to talk or tell you how I made some sense of everything.

  11. Petal

    Petal SF dreamer Staff Member Safety & Support SF Supporter

  12. ACRon

    ACRon Well-Known Member

    Thankfully not suicidal, but i do get a bit paranoid, mainly about losing things which i've grown used to.

    Getting caught committing suicide probably isn't worthy of time in the big house but i'm sure they'd section someone for it. thanks for the offer of help though, i'm putting you on my 'cool' persons list :smile:
  13. I just wanted to add that there's an "Honesty Thread", as well as a "Dear Thread" outlet here at the forum, under The Gathering section. And as well, someone who is here frequently (as opposed to infrequently) may not be inclined to let it all hang out ('specially 101 things!) in one fell swoop, as they return here often, and face others...

    (kindly said, I hope...)
  14. thesemomentsastheypass

    thesemomentsastheypass Well-Known Member

    Hi all,

    Just wanted to apologise is this post is misjudged or even misplaced.

    Please now let this sink into oblivion. Had I the facility to delete it, I certainly would.

    I did get added to someone's 'cool list' though. It's not all bad.

    Until much later...
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