Money problems = depression

Discussion in 'Rants, Musings and Ideas' started by sarrocks, Aug 9, 2009.

  1. sarrocks

    sarrocks New Member

    Hi everyone,

    Im sure pretty much everyone who sees the title of this thread can agree, financial hardship can easily induce suicidal thoughts. Just thinking "F*^% it", theres an easy way out. Dying is the easy part, living is the hard part. But the more i get myself into financial trouble, the more it affects my relationship, which seems to be falling apart day by day after 6+ years. It's funny how we have this implanted notion in our heads that the key to success is wealth. At least that seems to be the case here in America. I have also been fighting opiate addiction for 6+ years as well...

    Maybe quitting drugs was a bad idea. The one thing that would never fail me, or make me feel bad is opiates. For some reason, i feel like i would rather live a short, happy life than a long, drawn out, boring life. That maybe one of my biggest problems: Feeling like i NEED to get high to enjoy life, while "normal" people can feel naturally happy without using drugs.

    When i start to think, and dwell on my own problems, thats when i think about suicide. How to do it, where and when to do it. But heres the weird thing about it: the more in detail i think about suicide, the better i feel? i dont know why this just does. Thinking about suicide literally makes me feel good inside. Great in fact. Like a natural high of being on a roller coaster.

    But i never follow through with these thoughts because i think of something i want to do before i die. But these thoughts get worse as the days, months and years go by...

    Can you relate?:mellow:
  2. itmahanh

    itmahanh Senior Member & Antiquities Friend

    To the financial and thoughts yep. Been there, still there, bought and still wearing the frickin T-shirt!! (lol). I dont think quitting the drugs was wrong. One step of many that will help rather than hurt. It took a lot of strength and courage so be proud. And it takes a lot of strength just to eke out each day. Thinking maybe you've about used all yours up? And that alone can let us think of "easy" ways to make it stop. But suicide isnt as "easy" as others seem to think. It can become consuming. And it can become a high like you say. Why wouldnt one feel eurphoric about something that will seem to end all our pains and problems. I'm glad that you have never acted on those thoughts. And I'm glad that you found SF. Hey cant promise I can change anything for you. But I am willing to listen and share whatever I can. Please keep posting. Read other threads and posts. Get to know some of the other members. There are a lot of good people here that will support you through this. Welcome aboard and drop me a pm if you'd like to talk.
  3. total eclipse

    total eclipse SF Friend Staff Alumni

    Glad your here financial problems drug addictions usually go together Im sorry you are struggling but hope you can stay off the drugs and use us for support we are here to listen anytime.

    SATANICAT Member

    I can't really relate, but I really do commend you for hanging in there. There are not that many people who can deal with what you're dealing with right now without going over the edge. Also about the opiate thing; don't go back! It seems like opiates are one of the things that make you happy. Notice how I said "one". Opiates seem to linger around as the only thing that can make you happy, along with money. I know it may sound cheezy but if you don't already have one, try finding a productive hobby like making music, physical fitness, art, or photography. Hobbies help you focus, they can also give you something to work for and fill 'voids' in life. Here's some websites that can provoke thoughts about different hobbies ->

    Hope this helps!!!
  5. XXXXX

    XXXXX Antiquities Friend

    The scary thing is that "normal" people are not as happy as you may think. Not being happy does not mean you are not "Normal" (whatever "Normal" means :rolleyes:)

    I can relate to that. Feeling and planning suicide cheers me up :lol!:

    Although I was never big into the drugs stuff (a serial dabbler :dry:) booze was my forte - particularly getting off my tree and simply seeing what sh#t happened (usually something "interesting" :rolleyes:)............I wasn't so much addicted to drugs or even the booze, but to the crazy roller coaster life style.

    I still miss that life sometimes, life now does seem kinda sterile - but to be honest I just don't have the energy or desire anymore to cope with the ups. the downs or the ride - I kinda wore out / down I guess. The good news on that was me late wife had been through the same stuff, for many of the same reasons (it's how we met!) and wore down with me at the same tiime - the bad news is that by then she had already worn out :sad: 37 :sad:

    Normal life for me does have advantages, mainly on the money front (being able to work more and get out of debt / keep the money!) and being able to develop other interests - but to be honest I am still struggling with a reason to get out of bed in the's a work in progress I guess...........