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Discussion in 'Rants, Musings and Ideas' started by dontwannabeme, Sep 6, 2015.

  1. dontwannabeme

    dontwannabeme Well-Known Member

    i dont know where too start.
    From the moment i remember.. its about money whining about money!
    How important money is ect.
    Wel i dont care about money ever!
    I rather give it away too others that i hope use it for what they need it.
    It makes me feel good.
    As some of u know im diagnosed with boderline so i got bigger things too worry about then money!
    Now my dad is terminal and reaching his end.
    Hes leaving alot of money.
    And as u have guessed the money issue comes up again :(
    The problem i have now is that and its always been that way...
    My sister is a awesome girl i love her with all my heart.
    she already has gotten a good chunk more then me atm.
    And i dont care its hers she deserves it :)
    But today at my birthday.
    I bought a new car and my dad advanced half but ima pay it back.
    She said hey why did he give u that car?
    basicly where it came too was that she said she didnt get the chunk it said on paper.
    and its a big number.
    And she said too my dad that if i get a car why shouldnt she get a car aswel?
    The thing is that i was afraid of whats actually becomming a reality.
    When my dad dies and i get my inherritence ill prob just give it all away too my sis cause if she brings this up at my bday? at a time when my dad is pretty critical.
    What would happen if he dies?
    im just sad about this :(

    Why is money so importent too people ?
    I dont get it....
  2. SillyOldBear

    SillyOldBear Teddy Bear Fanatic Staff Alumni

    Yeah, I get tired of the money bit too. Fortunately, when my folks died, my brother and I refused to fight over it. We had too much respect for our parents to do that. He got a bit more, with my permission, because he handled the estate distribution. That can be a pain.

    I am truly sorry to hear that your father will soon pass and that you and your sister are having disagreements over money. I hope they don't last for long. While, on one hand, it truly is not worth fighting about, a bit of money would be helpful in dealing with the borderline diagnosis. I suspect that you would eventually regret handing it all over to your sister and that you would wind up resenting her for taking it all. Please stand up for yourself in this matter.
  3. Prinnctopher's Belt

    Prinnctopher's Belt Antiquities Friend SF Supporter

    When you literally dont have any, then youll understand.
  4. JmpMster

    JmpMster Have a question? Message Me Staff Member Forum Owner ADMIN

    If you do not care about it in the least then it should not bother you if she asked about it, if he buys her a car as well, and just tell him not to leave you any. Not caring about something would mean not obsessing and worrying about- the exact opposite of what this post is - worrying about what to do with the money and that she has gotten more than you in the past and that she might get a car from your dad etc etc... It seems to me that worrying too much about money (that happens to be your dads and not yours) is the problem causing an issue at the moment....
  5. Acy

    Acy Mama Bear - TLC, Common Sense Staff Member Safety & Support

    dontwannabeme, I'm sorry your father is sick. Wishing you all some comfort and peace.

    It sounds like you are giving a person. Even very generous, kind people need to look after themselves and that means they need some money. Please keep that in mind when you consider what money means to you. It doesn't have to be a driving force, but it is a necessary tool in life these days.

    However, NYJmpMaster makes a very good point: Right now, the money belongs to your father, not to you or your sister. He can spend it and give it away any way he chooses. You and your sister can't tell him what to do.

    While your dad is still here and well enough, be happy and have some good times with him. Those times could become very precious and important memories.

    When the time comes to divide your father's assets after his death, his will will outline his wishes. Chances are pretty good that he will divide his estate equally among his offspring (if he has no spouse). Your sister might not even argue about it. You're spending time and energy now on something that hasn't happened. Your dad is capable of deciding what he wants as his last wishes. What his will says, will be what he wants for the two of you. But again, right now, he's still here, so it's his money and not yours (yours and your sister's) yet. I would focus on making some good memories with dad rather than fretting over "possible" future events with your sister.
  6. dontwannabeme

    dontwannabeme Well-Known Member

    hey all ty for the great responses :)
    and i agree maybe i am worrying about something that hasent happend.
    But i disagree with nymp that i am caring about the money.
    I am worrying about the fact that the relationship with my sis is gonna be destroyed.
    as acy said i prob will end up giving it away.
    But the shear disapontment will destroy our relationship.
    Too what prince said.
    that you understand when you dont have any.
    I almost xlept on the street once.
    So yes i did not have anything.
    Money is only usefull too help people that are in desperate need you can call me a idiot but ye.
  7. Freya

    Freya Loves SF Staff Member ADMIN SF Author

    I understand that it is upsetting - but "the sheer disappointment will destroy our relationship" does actually suggest you care about the money, otherwise why would you be disappointed? It is okay to care about the money - but saying you don't care but then also saying that if you don't get the money you will be so disappointed that it will destroy your relationship is completely contradictory.

    If your relationship with your sister is the most important thing and you don't care about the money, there is nothing to worry about even if you don't get a dime and she gets it all - so try to stop stressing :hug:
  8. dontwannabeme

    dontwannabeme Well-Known Member

    the disapointment is about taking money i dont give a fuck about money its about someone i love twisting things around and lying and the way people are that they care about money so mutch.
    Im just getting fed up with this world i really am ...

    today i even had too go home early becouse at work i was losing reality and thats not a good sign :(
  9. BBM77

    BBM77 Active Member

    Money is important to people because money primarily dominates our social ways in life. You can't live without money. You can't enjoy life without money. You can't progress without money. The unfortunate thing is money cripples people's morals and changes them in ways you cannot expect and they become difficult. Such a shameful world we live in where a piece of paper anyone can rip at any given second and people fight over it at any given chance.

    Praise be you that you have a heart of gold to resist the urge to be greedy, I commend and hope you retain it. You've said you bought a car and your dad paid in advance if I'm correct? It's YOUR car and it's there for YOUR needs. I think it's rather inconsiderate that your sister came up to you and asked why doesn't she have a car at such a time. That's a sign of jealousy and maybe a little of an entitlement issue? I would kindly try explaining it to her these feelings and telling her kindly what's what.

    I wouldn't say give everything up to your sister and leave nothing for yourself, you need to stand your own ground and your sister needs to learn the value of working for what you want in life. Instead of having it handed to you.
  10. dontwannabeme

    dontwannabeme Well-Known Member

    Hey nycifer,

    ty for your kind words :).

    i did try too talk too her about it but it didnt see too have alot of use.
    My dad talked too her now and she understands now.
    But i said tonight to him aswel cause he wanted new papers too take care of it all too let it be.
    As he is sick and dieng he actually just got out of hospital and they wont threat him anymore so its a very sad day :(
    I said too let it be, all i care atm for is him not about the money issue.
    It hurts alot that money is the topic and not him :(
    I dont even wanna know how he should feel right now :(
    but after a year of dealing with his illnes and the sorrow and pain i see hes going thruw.
    Is really breaking(tearing) me up inside atm :(