Monster

Discussion in 'Help Me! I Need to Talk to Someone.' started by Erebus, Nov 13, 2007.

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  1. Erebus

    Erebus New Member

    I'm becoming a monster.

    It started with lonesomeness. I have no friends, a small cold uncaring family, and a crappy deadend job where I'm treated like shit.

    I found a slight remedy to that through pornography. I started looking at < average, normal stuff, but it kept getting more and more extreme over the past 6 years.

    Its gotten to the point where I'm addicted to child pornography. I know its wrong, but its all I got left, its all that will satisfy my hunger.

    < Mod Edit Hazel: Triggering >

    I can sit there for hours, my computer asking me "Are you sure you want to delete this file?". After a few minutes I start to cry, I try to trick myself into clicking "Yes", and just stare at the screen until my computer goes into standby. Then finally I give up, open the file, and violate humanity.

    < Mod Edit Hazel >

    I'm completely out of ideas and only days away from ramming this quite
    < Mod Edit Hazel > into my heart, or being arrested for possession of child pornography.

    I'm becoming a monster and death seems like the only exit.

    Maybe some outside reasonings will help me change, if at least minimally enough for me to click "yes".
     
    Last edited by a moderator: Nov 13, 2007
  2. Fishman

    Fishman Guest

    DELETE IT! I am no professional but I think your isolation has lead your mind to become twisted, like how a person develops "cabin fever" from being in an enclosed space to long. At least you know what your doing is wrong. Children are not for that type of thing and it will always hurt and ruin there lives. I am not sure what type of country you are in but perhaps if you are still attracted to that type of thing you should seek professional help, there are surly drugs they can put you on to halt these urges.

    at least you have admitted that it is wrong and you need to delete it BREAK THE POWER IT HAS OVER YOU.
     
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