Mood swings

Hello suicideforum,

It has been a while since i posted a thread but i felt the need. Im having enormous mood swings lately, one moment im up in the world thinking i should be the advisor of the president or something in that order, moments later i think im the dumbest man ever and dont see the point in anything anymore. Im working on my essays and it makes me reminisce about my school period. i just thought back about how much fun i had in the 2nd class of high school, right before everything turned sour. I had a flashback-memory of when i got bullied by a school teacher. we were being briefed for an upcoming schooltrip to paris which i was happy about and in the beginning everyone was talking amongst eachother, we were waiting for the teachers to arrive to inform us about the trip when she came in and wanted to queit the room the only thing she said was: Can that fatso shut up pointing at me. im getting tears in my eyes just thinking about it. it broke something in me the old memories of the bullying in primary school,

 

How horrible, especially to come from a teacher...have you ever thought of writing him/her a letter to say what it felt like? Please try to forgive him/her..I am sure someone who has to do that to a student is not a happy person...J

 

i think she will just laugh and use the letter as toilet paper, i dont know her name or i would have thought about giving that teacher a visit, now that im an adult too. and not for a cup of tea..

 

as an ex/retired/retarded teacher there is no excuse to single one person out and call them a name or names in front of everyone. no excuse at all. sure we all get stressed and classes can be out of control but thats part of the job. the one thing which really pissed me off were other dumb teachers. there are so many unsuitable teachers out there.
i get mood swings high and low although now medicated they dont swing so much. perhaps it was due to teaching - having a great laugh with the kids and then facing morons in the staff room.
i find it hard to get stable, and often i run on a high and even if medicated i need a beer or two to bring me down - im not allowed to drink - very bad mix.
when im low i find exercise brings me up - although its difficult to get motivated. apart from that im stable in bed medicated watching tv and reading lots most days. i avoid the things which trigger my highs and lows. that was a key turning point knowing what sends me where. figure that out and youll be alright.
also that teacher you had is why i got out of the game, its run by big mouthed self opinionated idiots who like nothing more than power trips and listening to their own voice bullying students. teachers are there to nurture not torture!!!
take care!!!

 

id use very abrasive paper then. lol

 

totally agree with you, the quality of the teachers is sometimes dreadful. but there are very good ones too. but its just an accumulation that makes me feel this way. i know of nobody to talk to, or anyone that should bother. i searched professional help but just recently my therapist kicked me out, just when i started to trust her. and well just looking back on my life i just see that i have commited so many errors. i never thought suicide as a solution but i have worked out an exit strategy in which it is

 

i think stay ing here make friend here is a solution talking to people who truly understand you and not judge you We care there is not need to exit okay You can pm me anytime hugs