Okay, so I've now realized I have depression, there is no denying it. In school I will sit and stare at a wall for hours telling my self how ugly and fat I am, even though I have no idea what I look like at the time. and it's getting bad because now I can hear myself saying these things and I can't control it, I was eating a magnem lolly and I swear I saw the word 'fat' on the stick. When I started self harming it was tiny little scratches on my wrist, that turned into scratches with a blade, that turned into small cuts on my thigh, that turned into more and more and more. And now I will start crying because I know I haven't done enough to make the pain go away but I can't do anymore with it someone noticing I've been in the kitchen for too long. I can't bring myself to go to the doctors because they'll want to see my parents, and my parents have a big influence of my self harm, so they cannot know. I know I need help, but is there an form of internet therapy that would help me? I'm trying to stop, but it's either self harm or death, and I want to see a little more of life before I make my mind up on that.