More angry with a 'so be it attitude'

Discussion in 'Suicidal Thoughts and Feelings' started by HomerSimpson, Apr 9, 2013.

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  1. HomerSimpson

    HomerSimpson Well-Known Member

    For the last couple days I have been more angry than depressed with a 'so be it attitude'. If this is the life that I am forced to live than 'so be it'. I will just take a bullet and put it through my head. I do not fear death, I fear living a life of troubles, depression, and just hopelessness more than dying.

    If this is my fate to live this miserable life, than so be it I will end it. Anyone else have this attitude?
     
  2. flowers

    flowers Senior Member

    I actually dont have the attitude. I usually manage to find a sliver of hope. Even if its a flimsy thread. But honestly, I have felt hopelesness. I do think that most people who want to die, really just want the pain to stop. Thats the source of my feelings of wanting to die, when I feel that way more ferverntly. They say that if you can look under anger the source of it is pain. Sorry the hopelesness is so strong right now. I know thats a horrible place to be.
     
  3. HomerSimpson

    HomerSimpson Well-Known Member

    You are right about not wanting to die and just wanting the pain to go away. Problem is I truly believe this pain I have will be with me the rest of my life, and if so than so be it. But I will not live like this. Death will be easier than this hopeless life.
     
  4. flowers

    flowers Senior Member

    I have felt that before. I wish there was some way you could get hope for the future. I am fortunate enough to have a way to get that. I dont talk about it here on the forums. But I do have a way to do that.... once a month. And then that can sustain me for a while anyway. Unless I get backed against a wall.

    What I have found out is that even when everything points to a future of nothing except more of the same, sometimes that is not the reality. Even though everything would say that there is no way out of the pain while still being alive. Believe me, even with the help I get to find that hope, I still get into the places where I have no hope. So I know what you are saying. But in reality I think that the past and present abyss of pain are not always indicators of the future. Even though it totally seems reiculous and absurd to think there could be hope
     
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