More blonde jokes

Discussion in 'The Coffee House' started by neverdie, Nov 17, 2007.

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  1. neverdie

    neverdie Guest

    > Two blondes with hammers, Carol and Donna, were
    > doing some carpenter
    > work on a Habitat for Humanity house. Carol, who was
    > nailing down
    > house siding, would reach into her nail pouch, pull
    > out a nail, and
    > either toss it over her shoulder or nail it in.
    > Donna, figuring this was worth looking into, asked,
    > "Why are you
    > throwing those nails away?"
    > Carol explained, "When I pull a nail out of my
    > pouch, about half of
    > them have the head on the wrong end, and I throw
    > them away."
    > Donna got completely upset and yelled, "You moron!
    > Those nails aren't
    > defective! They're for the other side of the house.
    >
    >
    > ==========================================
    > A blonde hurried into the emergency room late one
    > night with the tip of
    > her index finger shot off.
    > "How did this happen?" the emergency room doctor
    > asked her.
    > "Well, I was trying to commit suicide," the blonde
    > replied.
    > "What?" sputtered the doctor. "You tried to commit
    > suicide by shooting
    > > off your finger?"
    > "No, Silly," the blonde said, "first I put the gun
    > to my chest, and then I
    > thought, I just paid $6,000.00 for these implants.
    > I'm not shooting myself
    > in the chest."
    > > "So then?" asked the doctor.
    > "Then I put the gun in my mouth, and I thought, "I
    > just paid $3,000.00 to
    > get my teeth straightened. I'm not shooting myself
    > in the mouth."
    > "So then?" asked the doctor.
    > "Then I put the gun to my ear, and I thought: "This
    > is going to make a
    > loud noise. So I put my finger in my other ear
    > before I pulled the
    > trigger.
    >
    > ===========================================
    > A blonde was driving home after a game, and got
    > caught in a really bad
    > hailstorm. Her car was covered with dents, so the
    > next day she took it
    > to a repair shop. The shop owner saw that she was a
    > blonde, so he
    > decided to have some fun. He told her to go home and
    > blow into the
    > tailpipe really hard, and all the dents would pop
    > out.
    > So the blonde went home, got down on her hands and
    > knees, and started
    > blowing into her tailpipe. Nothing happened. So she
    > blew a little harder,
    > and still nothing happened.
    > Her blonde roommate saw her, and asked, "What are
    > you doing?"
    > The first blonde told her how the repairman had
    > instructed her to blow into
    > the tail pipe in order to get all the dents to pop
    > out.
    > The roommate rolled her eyes and said, "Uh, like
    > hello! You need to roll up
    > the windows first."
    >
    > ==========================================
    > Did you hear about the two blondes who froze to
    > death in a drive-in movie?
    > They had gone to see 'Closed for the winter'.
    >
    > =========================================
    > A blonde was shopping at Target, and came across a
    > shiny silver thermos.
    > She was quite fascinated by it, so she picked it
    > up and took it to the clerk
    > to ask what it was. The clerk said, "Why, that's a
    > thermos ... it keeps hot
    > things hot, and cold things cold."
    > "Wow, said the blonde, "that's amazing ... I'm
    > going to buy it!" So she
    > bought the thermos and took it to work the next
    > day.
    > Her boss saw it on her desk. "What's that?" he
    > asked.
    > "Why, that's a thermos ... it keeps hot things hot
    > and cold things cold,"
    > she replied.
    > Her boss inquired, "What do you have in it?"
    > The blond replied ... "Two popsicles and some
    > coffee."
    >
    > ==========================================
    > AND LAST BUT NOT LEAST:
    > A blonde goes into work one morning crying her eyes
    > out.
    > Her boss asked sympathetically, "What's the matter?"
    >
    > The blonde replies, "Early this morning I got a
    > phone call saying that
    > my mother had passed away."
    > The boss, feeling sorry for her, says, "Why don't
    > you go home for the
    > day? Take the day off to relax and rest."
    > "Thanks, but I'd be better off here. I need to keep
    > my mind off it,
    > and I have the best chance of doing that here."
    > The boss agrees and allows the blonde to work as
    > usual. A couple of
    > hours pass, and the boss decides to check on the
    > blonde. He looks out
    > from his office, and sees the blonde crying
    > hysterically. "What's so
    > bad now? Are you going to be okay?" he asks.
    > "No," exclaims the blonde, "I just received a
    > horrible call from my
    > sister. Her mother died, too!"

    :rolf:
     
  2. smackh2o

    smackh2o SF Supporter

    Mint!

    Two blondes walk into a building....

    You think one of them would have noticed.
     
  3. itmahanh

    itmahanh Senior Member & Antiquities Friend

    Guess we'll have to start brunette jokes soon. Didn't get this one at first lol

    A blonde walks into a bar. The brunette ducked.
     
  4. *dilligaf*

    *dilligaf* Staff Alumni

    :laugh:
     
  5. AloneInTheDark

    AloneInTheDark Well-Known Member

  6. Petal

    Petal SF dreamer Staff Alumni SF Supporter

    haha

    why are most blonde jokes short?
    so men can remember them.:tongue:
     
  7. Witty_Sarcasm

    Witty_Sarcasm Writer, Musician, Fun Lover, Magic Maker

    Even though I am blonde, I still love blonde jokes :tongue:
     
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