Car ride today. My dad keeps forcing the issue of my bisexuality as he has been doing now and then ever since I came out to him. Thing is: he forces the issue, then recoils and tells me not to talk about it, gagging, and wondering aloud how and why any guy couldn't or wouldn't love a beautiful woman. (No matter how many times I remind him, he doesn't seem to understand that bisexual people are attracted to both sexes). Then he chastises me, asking me "why can't you just be like everyone else?" as though I had chosen the wrong sports team to cheer for, or something. It could be a lot worse. I mean, he could kick me out of the house. Hell, he could be physically abusive. So far, he's done none of these things; yet he's never shown this level of rejection towards me, so I don't quite know how to respond. I feel both that I've let him down, but also that I don't give a fuck whether I live up to his black-and-white Leave It to Beaver expectations or not. (Hint: if you want to understand just how conservative my family is, imagine all the phones in my house ringing to the tune of "The Star Spangled Banner.") He'll force the issue again. He's a religious asshat, so it's inevitable. He may, as religious folk do, feign open-mindedness, but when push comes to shove he's just as fundamentalist and reactionary as any "born again" Southern Baptist preacher. He gives the typical spiel that he "hates the sin" and "not the sinner," and that God works through people in mysterious ways. But I know it's just hatred. Hatred fueled by fear fueled by ignorance. Through all that insidious thickness, I know there's never going to be an opportunity to communicate with my dad on this issue: not at any tangible level, anyway. That, I think, is what irks me the most. And that's just how it is. Ignorance, once manifested into hatred, becomes willful and adaptive. His is the product of upbringing and religious beliefs. He's never going to get over the fact that his son's a c**-guzzling ******, and that's just the way it'll have to be. As the saying goes, you can't reason someone from a position to which reason did not lead them in the first place. So I'll just have to live with the idea that my own father thinks I'm a hell-bound worldly deviant. I don't know if it should bother me more or less. Eh. Fuck him. EDIT: I just want to say that to all you fags who are also stuck with your parents but have it far worse than I (physical abuse, etc.), I'm very sorry... stay strong for all our sakes.