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More intensive care-never again

Discussion in 'After Effects' started by ANeverEndingRose, Sep 7, 2008.

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  1. ANeverEndingRose

    ANeverEndingRose Well-Known Member

    Well, Ive had a crap month.

    I've been in intensive care three times since the end of july, the most recent time being the worst. Went in with a GCS of 3 and had severe liver and kidney failure. Was ventilated and put on life support and was in absolute hell, physically and psychologically, when i woke up. Since I came out of hospital on sunday the hospital admitted to getting my treatment wrong and not knowing what was wrong for two days. I've had a diarohea and vomiting bug since i got out and had to go back in on fri for rehydration because my sodium was so low.

    It has been absolute hell. I have put my family and friends through so much, i feel so guilty and so awful. My mum burst out crying in the middle of dinner last night, screaming that she couldnt take anymore.

    I cant keep doing this to them. They look so awful and tired, i need to take control of myself and make things better because im tearing my family apart. And I did scare myself this time. When they first took the tube out and i woke up in ITU, i had no idea where i was and was terrified, i just sobbed and sobbed and pulled all my lines out. Never again.

    And now I have irreversible damage. Dont let this happen to you. its awful, i cant believe what ive done and I wish I had never ever done what i did.
  2. Dave_N

    Dave_N Guest

    I'm sorry that your liver and kidneys are failing. That's an unfortunate result of an overdose though. :hug:
  3. downunder

    downunder Well-Known Member

    What is GCS of 3 mean?
  4. ANeverEndingRose

    ANeverEndingRose Well-Known Member

    GCS is the Glasgow Coma Scale-it measures your level of consciousness. 3 means coma or death. 15 is the highest-when you are fully functioning and well.
  5. Samantha

    Samantha Well-Known Member

    Sometimes doctors use coma inducing drugs for OTHER medical reasons
    when people have injuries etc.

  6. isoko49

    isoko49 Member

    I'm sorry you're suffering so much from the aftereffects of your OD. Make sure you get all the support you're entitled to and I hope things improve quickly for you.
  7. ANeverEndingRose

    ANeverEndingRose Well-Known Member

    Yes they do sometimes. Not in my experience however, I was brought in with a GCS of 3, and coma inducing drugs were not used.
  8. Stranger1

    Stranger1 Forum Buddy & Antiquities Friend

    Hello Rose,
    If you are serious about getting help, (in my book a therapist). You need someone professional to talk to. You can learn alot from them and you can get all that negativety out on the table where the two of you can work things out. Sometimes it takes a couple of therapists before you find one you feel comfortanle with.
    My therapist has helped me quite abit with other problems but hasn't got me past the suicidal stage. She told me I will probably be like this the rest of my life. I have been able to cope on a dailey basis with it from her help! I hope you find what you are needing!!Take Care!~Joseph~
  9. ANeverEndingRose

    ANeverEndingRose Well-Known Member


    Thanks, yes I have both a therapist and a cpn and a psychiatrist. I have just started cat therapy. Im doing well so far, i'm very determind to stop my self harming behaviour and then start working on the anorexia.
  10. Petal

    Petal SF dreamer Staff Member Safety & Support SF Supporter

    Good luck with therapy :arms: I hope you begin to feel better soon :)
  11. Oceans

    Oceans Well-Known Member

    what an awful few months you have had and I hope therapy will help you so you can feel better.
  12. Oak

    Oak Senior Member & Antiquities Friend

    kidney failure can be reversible. with medication and diet which you should be on right now. you've realize how devastating an attempt is and how it destroys families. hope you find the help you need for yourself and perhaps a family therapy would be in order from the sound of it. talk to your psi about it.

    all the best, :arms:
  13. ANeverEndingRose

    ANeverEndingRose Well-Known Member

    Thank you.

    That all happened in august so things have moved on now. We tried family therapy a few years ago but it didn't work because certain family members refused to show up for appointments.

    My kidneys are doing fine and my liver function is slowly improving. Im trying hard with my CAT therapy and trying to communicate well with my cpn.

    I think the therapy is beginning to help. On friday I found myself in a hyperventilatingpanicomygod situation with the ******* infront of me and thinking I want to take this so much, but there was a but to it so I didn't know what to do and just panicked even more. So I took myself down to our outpatient centre and collapsed in reception crying. People came and helped, took the stuff off me and gave me a plan for the rest of the day.

    So for the first time in my life I asked for help to save my live rather than try to end it.
  14. Nissa

    Nissa Guest

    That is a big step in recovery from this. Congrats on making it this far, I hope things continue to improve and this will one day be a thing of the past. Take care,

  15. ANeverEndingRose

    ANeverEndingRose Well-Known Member

    Thank you.

    Although I still feel very unsafe since friday, and have OD each night in a minor way, I do feel proud of myself for what I did.

    Even my Granny rang me up and said its the best news shes heard all year! So that means it must be a good thing.
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