So, I tried to kill myself, pretty passively I guess, by stopping my heart medication last week. Surprise surprise it didn't work. I just got really sick and wound up in the hospital. Where I got more great news. They suspect that I might have a tumor on my adrenal gland. Yay. More health problems. Meanwhile I keep trying to tell my therapist and pdoc how bad I feel without telling them everything because I don't want to go to the hospital. I've been and it totally sucks and is not that helpful for me. So. I find myself sitting here staring at this jug I have to pee into for the next 24 hours to see if I might have a tumor and perhaps cancer. I'm 31. I am struggling with not taking all the pills I have. Between my heart and bipolar meds I have more than enough to do the trick. I really really want to. But I don't. Dammit. What should I do?!!!!