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More medical problems... Makes me want to die!

Discussion in 'Suicidal Thoughts and Feelings' started by lutz, Sep 28, 2013.

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  1. lutz

    lutz Member

    So, I tried to kill myself, pretty passively I guess, by stopping my heart medication last week. Surprise surprise it didn't work. I just got really sick and wound up in the hospital. Where I got more great news. They suspect that I might have a tumor on my adrenal gland. Yay. More health problems. Meanwhile I keep trying to tell my therapist and pdoc how bad I feel without telling them everything because I don't want to go to the hospital. I've been and it totally sucks and is not that helpful for me.

    So. I find myself sitting here staring at this jug I have to pee into for the next 24 hours to see if I might have a tumor and perhaps cancer. I'm 31. I am struggling with not taking all the pills I have. Between my heart and bipolar meds I have more than enough to do the trick. I really really want to. But I don't. Dammit. What should I do?!!!!
  2. total eclipse

    total eclipse SF Friend Staff Alumni

    You should tell your doctor that you are feeling suicidal and go to hospital for some respite care ok It is not for certain the tumor is cancer it could be benign talk to you doc ok be honest
  3. lutz

    lutz Member

    Thanks for responding! I just don't want to go. I know it will be a nice rest. But I get out and everything's the same. But the hospitalization made it worse because I missed work. This I'm behind and used up sick days. And it's always hard to
    Up with a story about why you're in the hospital (need the note from the doc) and not tell them it's because you are crazy with a capital c. I just don't see the point. I wish I could decide one way or the other :(
  4. Blacky

    Blacky Well-Known Member

    I wish you all the luck in the world, that things will get better. Yeah, hospital stays are not so cool, I missed a week in school, which was really awkward in the end.
    But heyy, just because people think you might crazy, doesen't mean you are crazy. Society says what normal, but in the end we say what is normal for "us".
    I had people who said that I was not normal, because of my suicide attempt, but I believe the people I trust and the ones I love, they care about me.
    We care for you too, so it doesen't matter what the other people think.
    You helped me with my problem and seriously?
    You are the most amazing person I met in a long time.
    I wish you all the luck in the world, universe or whatever (more universes?) and that it will get better!
    Feel hugged *Okay, I'm strange, but that's me, so feel hugged :)*
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