More Pretending

Discussion in 'Rants, Musings and Ideas' started by Forgotten_Man, Sep 28, 2013.

  1. Forgotten_Man

    Forgotten_Man Well-Known Member

    You know I hate coming up the homecoming with my roommate. Every year I come here I am forced into the social groups with him. It really gets annoying, I am forced to hang out with a bunch of people who did not even know my name until my junior year in college. The worst part about it is the fact that we were in the same class, wind symphony, for all those years. I was just the outcast and now since I hang out with this guy as my roommate, they all try to pretend that we were friends all along. It gets annoying and stupid. I really wish I could just come to homecoming alone. That would be nice, I would just be alone and awkward and no one would know me and no one would care and no one would waste my time. I would just sit there and get drunk. I would take the rightful place in the loser, outcast section and be alone. At least there is some kind of understanding in this group. I am the one who sits around and watches the pitcher and is quiet while all the rest of them go off and hit on girls and stuff.

    More and more I wonder what I am even doing here. Why do I even bother leaving my apartment? Why do I even bother pretending I am some kind of social guy? I mean really, all I do is sit around and be present. When in all reality I want to just be alone and quiet. I know that everyone is creeped out by my non-social demeanor and all that kind of stuff. It repels everyone who sees me, and it is wonderful and fun. I am just that guy alone at the bar. The one or two times I go to be social I get to be the guy everyone is nice too because I am just around. I am that guy, the one who is just there and everyone tries to pretend that I am more social than I am actually. It is just annoying, so why do I do this when I could just be alone and ambient like I am supposed to be while I rot away and wait to die.
     
  2. scaryforest

    scaryforest Banned Member

    completely nothing wrong with silence, silent type.

    you bother 'cause you wanna belong? but seems these people aren't the ones you belong to
     
  3. Forgotten_Man

    Forgotten_Man Well-Known Member

    I am not really sure what you are asking or saying, sorry.
     
  4. scaryforest

    scaryforest Banned Member

    hmmm. gonna rephrase.

    you say you're quiet by nature..
    and it sounds like you wanna fit in and be comfortable with your own self and by own self too but when you go with these people, it doesn't really work
    idk..

    also idk what i wanted to say with it..
    just that someone's listening

    and i'm not good with words
     
  5. Forgotten_Man

    Forgotten_Man Well-Known Member

    Okay, I kind of understand what you are saying. I was not very clear with my post anyway.

    I just hate all this pretending, being the tag along that people randomly realize that they are not talking to so they make a point to try and pretend like I have something in common with me.
     
  6. scaryforest

    scaryforest Banned Member

    frustrated with the way society works? or fails rather
     
  7. Forgotten_Man

    Forgotten_Man Well-Known Member

    I guess, I just need to stop being or pretending to be social.