I know I shouldn't have, but I've just done it - and watched the blood fall in big fat blobs in the sink. Now I feel guilty and ashamed on top of everything else. All the professionals tell me I should give it up and stop doing it, but not one of them is great at showing me how and what to do instead, when I feel I need too do something. The real thing is - I just don't want to give it up. I deserve all the pain for being so useless.