Pretty much, anyone who doesn't know my "story," (I won't get into it right now) knows that I should've never been born. I don't plan on living to see 30, and the sooner I die, the better. I can't seem to fucking do anything right, especially the few shits I actually ENJOY in life and bother to live to see, which is one of the grandest ironies of them all. It's not fair, but then again, the very basis of life is unfairness... I see people run CIRCLES around me in life; even people half my age, while even the dumbest shit in the entire world for me is a colossal nightmare. I hate everything about myself, especially my skin which has acne so I don't have a fucking chance in hell of achieving my dreams. I wanted to be a lead singer in a band, but that's impossible because no matter how hard I fucking work my voice and change my diet, I sound like a fucking retard when I talk and sing and I'm blown out of the water by someone who eats shitty foods, drinks heavily, smokes cigarettes and watches fucking TV all day and literally puts NO effort into anything they do; essentially, life is handed to them on a silver fucking platter. With me? I do the opposite of those things and actually fucking TRY MY ASS OFF and end up not only no better off than I was before, but with an added "spent" feeling of exhaustion. I resent the fact that my parents decided to have me, especially as late in life as they did and not being grateful that they already had a child with my older brother. Plus, my parents (especially my dad) didn't FIX ANY OF THEIR PROBLEMS BEFORE HAVING ME! FIX THE SHIT FIRST, and THEN THINK ABOUT PROCREATING! Otherwise, you're fucking ruining your child for life, like I'm beyond broken... I'm shattered. This is why I'm not having kids; it's one thing to make me suffer through this bullshit, but I could never forgive myself for forcing a child into this world that's getting worse and more overpopulated every single day. Like, for instance, they didn't give a fuck that I'd might inherit acne like I did... they didn't think "well, what if he wants to be an Actor or something?" Nope, fuck that, let's shame the kid for being ungrateful and having big dreams in the first place! Yeah, that's it! That's what we got in this world too... at least most people happily put their dreams on the backburner in any way they can and can live long, happy lives of quiet desperation and shaming dreamers. That's just not me though, no matter how hard I try; I just don't have that fail-safe like everyone else does. Anyone who knows me knows I've hated every single job I've ever had and every single grade and class I've ever had, even in my extremely short stint in the ever-loved supposed holy-land of college. I have to give up the hard way, through dying finally and ending this life that should've never happened. I don't blame any of you if you hate me after reading this; I didn't even bother putting it in paragraphs because who cares anyways? People can't handle REAL shit; we are taught to LIE from an early age, from how we "enjoy" school to job interviews, since that's the ONLY way we can survive. I can't be fixed, I know it... go ahead and delete this. What does a suicidal person like me care if I get banhammered if even supposed "professionals" with fucking PHDs can't help me?