I have been very suicidal lately. Moreso than I have been in a long time. Don’t get me wrong, I’ve been constantly depressed for the past 5 years, but the feelings of suicide have been much more pronounced these past couple of months. Mainly because my situation is so bleak, dire, and hopeless. As the years go by, the light at the end of the tunnel becomes more and more non-existent. There is no hope. I am dealing with a permanent and unchanging physical condition (I call it a disease) that causes me to look unattractive, ugly, old, and uncool. Although marginalized by some, it does significantly and negatively affect virtually every aspect of my life. I cannot stand getting up in the morning and hating the way that I look. I want to do things that most of my peers do, like social networking on facebook, confident approaching women and going out on dates, and feeling comfortable in their own skin. Yet I cannot do this because of this physical ailment that is destroying my good looks. It is nothing short of heartbreaking and devastating. I have no urge or inspiration to wake up in the morning and I definitely feel that life is not worth living anymore. I can barely even function anymore. I would rather just die and get out of this horrible world than live a long life of misery. I’ve even researched suicide methods on the internet but I am unfortunately too chickensh*t to ever act on it. Lastly, I’ve been so angry and miserable with life that I’ve said some bad things to God since although I’ve prayed for Him to save me from this long and painful misery, He has not done so. For this, I am overcome with fear that He will punish me and my life will become even worse than it already is. I am living in constant anxiety and pain. Please say a prayer for me.