I know this situation it totally my falut and I'm the only who has the power to change it but all my life I've struggle with saying what I want or thinking about myself. My friend that I babysit for told me today she may have split shifts next week. It was ment to be morning shifts so I would be home by 5pm at the latest and baby sit for a few hours only but today she told me her boss said they want her to do split shifts all week....it to far for her to come home on the time off so she will just stay there. I don't know the dates or times yet she said she will call me on her break tonight. Today the kitchen was left in a huge mess. I feel like a house maid as well. I'm gonna try and get her to take me home tonight when she gets home but we shall see......... I have my cats to think about. I do get paid (it's not about the money) I want to help my friend but I'm totally being taken advantage of but I don't feel confident enough to stand up for myself. Especially because I am getting paid and then when I see my friend she continually tells me how amazing I am for doing this for her and wouldn't be able to do it without me. I feel like screaming. I feel trapped but I know it's only me who can get me out of this but I find it impossible to stand up for myself. And at the start I did and it was totally ignored so I will find it even harder to bring it up again. I am such a useless idoit. I just responded to the child and she said "you sound a little bit sad" (i asked her if I could send a message to my friend and she said yes while she has afternoon snack) I need to realize that I am important in all of this but I don't know how to do it, I've never been able to put myself before those I care about, and I need to learn. Blahhhh....I just hope I can go home tonight at least.