thats me. naive, ignorant, stupid, gullible, sad, pathetic, alone, laughable, pointless, thoughtless, witless and so on, and so on. im so close, i want help - i think. but im scared to ask. i cant cope, am not coping. I dont know what to fucking do. i just dont. its not that easy. there are too many things for me to get done, i cant seem to accomplish anything. i am disgusted at myself. my lack of motivation, the state of my cuts, drinking like a fool. utterly fucking devastated, ground down to a powder and ready to be blown away by the next blast of wind. I HATE THIS, ME. i miss her. i want to be with her.