Well, I didn't actually hurt myself, but I came pretty close to it. My dad has a 9mm pistol tucked away in his closet, I was(still am) feeling immensley depressed and he wasn't home so I got it out. I found two half loaded clips next to it so I popped one in, cocked a round, turned the safety off and sat on his bed with it and after awhile finally pointed it at my head and slightly squeezed the trigger. It has a double trigger so you have to squeeze it hard for it to go off. I felt strangely calm doing it, almost happy that I was so close to dying, which scared me so I put it down again and put everything back where I found it. That's really the first time I've done anything like that, it was just yesterday. But I'm thinking about just doing that over and over again until I finally get use to it and am actually able to pull the trigger, just wanted to tell someone. Thanks for reading.