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Most pathetic attempt ever.

Discussion in 'After Effects' started by ChemophilicFlaw, Dec 21, 2006.

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  1. Well, I didn't actually hurt myself, but I came pretty close to it. My dad has a 9mm pistol tucked away in his closet, I was(still am) feeling immensley depressed and he wasn't home so I got it out. I found two half loaded clips next to it so I popped one in, cocked a round, turned the safety off and sat on his bed with it and after awhile finally pointed it at my head and slightly squeezed the trigger. It has a double trigger so you have to squeeze it hard for it to go off. I felt strangely calm doing it, almost happy that I was so close to dying, which scared me so I put it down again and put everything back where I found it.

    That's really the first time I've done anything like that, it was just yesterday. But I'm thinking about just doing that over and over again until I finally get use to it and am actually able to pull the trigger, just wanted to tell someone. Thanks for reading.
  2. Cheesecake

    Cheesecake Well-Known Member

    Wish i had the option of a gun, i live in the UK and there are no guns..at least not avalaible through any means i know of.:sad:

    Hang in there though, im sure theres more to life for you otherwise you'd have pulled the trigger by now.
  3. Meander

    Meander Active Member

    I'm glad that you didn't go through with it. Aside from the usual belief that people shouldn't hurt themseves (myself excepted), people can easily survive a 9mm round. Even to the head, your odds of dying from the shot would be relatively small. You would have bled out in time, but it would have been extremely painful and no one should go through that level of agony. If you want to talk about anything, don't hesitate to ask. I'm here if you need me.
  4. thinker

    thinker Guest

    Meander is right about the 9mm. A single 9mm shot could kill you, depending on how it is done, but very possibly you will end up with excruciating pain and some kind of permanent impairment from the brain injury.
  5. toonkate

    toonkate Guest

    your title "most pathetic attempt ever" nooooooooo, that was so not a pathetic attempt, that was a pretty damn serious attempt i think.
    and the others are right, asside from the whole, its not good to kill yourself thing, a gun shot to the head isnt always fatal, so many assume it would be, but there is so much can go wrong, you could end up paralysed or allsorts.

    have you got a councellor or therapist or anyone to talk to?
    keep chatting here, there are so many on here that will try there best to help you through the hard times

  6. blub

    blub Guest

    Glad you didnt do it :hug:, but you have to realise, the mess you will make with a gun, isnt that nice for someone to see and to clean :sad:
  7. blackfire

    blackfire Well-Known Member

    It must have been an adrenaline rush to get that close to death, huh. I am glad you are still with us. It is tempting to do something like that, when the resources are all there. Hang in there, we are here for you.
  8. I'm aware that I could survive if I tried doing it that way, I actually saw a show were someone had blown off half their head trying to do the same and lived. But I would do it alone so if I did survive I would bleed out, or use a combination of things. Like a load of drugs and then shoot myself.

    And you're right, it would be a nasty thing for my dad to see :wink: . I'm only an hours walk from an isolated woodland location that I could walk to and do it. I think it would be much more peaceful that way.

    And I'm not so sad right now, but it usually comes back within a few days and every time it gets worse. And the condition at home is only deteriorating, so it's not a question of if, but when. I just want to be able to ease myself into it like getting into a cold pool. Thanks for the support though guys/girls, I appreciate it.
  9. kungfuhamster

    kungfuhamster Member

    I noticed Chemophilic Flaw hasn't posted since that last post. I think he must have gone through with ending it. I am saddened by that.
  10. TheBLA

    TheBLA The biggest loser alive.

    Don't assume that please. I don't mean to depress anyone or anything, perhaps he tried again and hopefully failed but possibly injured himself and so is recovering in a hospital, its scary, we may never know and hope he comes back on the forums. Its a shame that some people when they are gone for a while, are never missed here, such as me.
  11. I wish I had a gun. Here in the UK, they're hard to come by, so we have to resort to messy (and often unsuccessful) methods like jumping in front of trains.

    I'm going to try and get a gun somehow.
  12. Oh dear, I apologize if I worried you. But as you can see I haven't gone through with it, although since my first post I've made several more "attempts" to try and get comfortable with and it's working. Anyways don't worry please :unsure: . The last thing I want to do is have someone that I don't know sad over what I'm going to do. I just wanted to tell someone about what I was thinking, I don't want you guys/girls to be worried about it.
    Last edited: Jan 1, 2007
  13. Aaron93

    Aaron93 Member

    Sorry for the bump but iwas wondering...It couldnt killl you...

    Even at point blank o_0
    Last edited by a moderator: Jan 24, 2007
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