Discussion in 'I Have a Question...' started by asking_advice, Jan 20, 2012.
most people here are suicidal but why are you still alive?
Because although shit keeps hitting fan...and me for that matter, we keep on trucking.
I don't know why I am, I guess the hope that there is something bigger and better out there for me. Now it's up to me to find out what that is.
I think it's my dad who's been keeping me alive way before joining this site. I find this place as a haven even though I still have my moments where I want to give in.
because every tiime i try to kill myself i get caught. the last time should have worked. i ended up unconcious in the hospital 3 days with a nurse by my side i'm told in case the medications affected my heart in a bad way.
other than that, i really haven't tried to kill myslef since i've had my children. i don't want to leave them a legacy of suicide so i try my best to reach out before i get that bad again. they say that once you have a parent that completes a suicide you are more likely to suicide. i don't want that for my children. i want them to know very little about my suicidal tendencies and depression.
I'm glad that you haven't attempted to do suicide in a while. I've only attempted once but I managed to pull myself away from doing it. Unlike your attempts the one I would of done would of been an instant kill. But I'm glad that you haven't done an attempt in awhile. I'm sure your children are wonderful, and that they keep you from doing it. That's good that your trying to contain your thoughts of suicide and depression. Because your kids might get worried about you. At least your staying strong for your kids and that deserves merit :hug:
cowardice. i have plenty of methods that will work but im too weak to pull it off.
Hmm, that's understandable... I'm not that weak but sometimes it's just hard for me to stick together at times. I still feel suicidal right now but at least I'm managing it because it's not to bad at the moment. -sigh
Sometimes I'm really scared to do it and sometimes I'm not. I guess it depends on how upset I get,
I can't do it because I worry about how my dad will react about my death... I don't want him to suffer another one because he already lost his wife aka my mother.
Before joining here mainly what kept me from doing it was just me being a wimp.
It may sound wrong but being a nurse you know what will and won't kill you. And some of the ways are really easy.
But yeah it's a mixture of me being a wimp, a promise to a friend that I wouldn't (though I fear one day I may lie to her) and now just being able to have a place (here) to just cry and scream and really get help.
I think I can consider that being wimpy for not killing myself because of my dad... I think I do have some fear of death even though I know where I'm going when I die. Sometimes I cry and I do feel like screaming to get help but sometimes I just stay within myself because I don't want others to see my pain that I feel. However, I feel that I could be a wimp for not pulling the trigger 2 years ago. I promised myself more so that I would never get to that point again.. So, far I've been keeping that promise for myself. I don't know how long I'll keep that promise...
Because I'm gutless,I should have done it at least a decade ago.
Truthfully, because of my dog. Just couldn't leave her like that. Nope. At this point, I don't even think it's a fear thing for me any more (though I will admit, it used to be). I've came pretty close when I was as low as I've ever been. But then she enters the forefront of my mind, and I change my mind.
I'm suicidal but I'm not impulsive suicidal, I consider my suicide rational, not compelled by passing emotions. I've given up of life and I'm planning to kill myself next year, meanwhile I have a personal project that I want to do and I have to finish my research on methods, my timeline depends on the amount of money that I still have. However I have a constant fear of failing, my methods are proven reliable but there's always something that can go wrong, a failure would be unbearable to me.
Because I still know that there are things that I could do that I haven't done yet.
im a loser...only one person and that is my mother...other wise i would of done it today...
There is a saying in my native language that a person is alive because of the lack of death. I don't know if it makes sense.
For me I haven't killed myself yet because I don't think that the time has come yet to kill myself. For some reason I have become a believer in fate. I used to ridicule the idea of fate and I used to think that a person is master of their own fate but I am starting to believe that things happen according to fate.
I haven't felt the urge to kill myself yet either because I'm nervous because I can't bring myself to do it.
I think it's good that you can't bring yourself to do it...don't want to lose you friend :hug: