most people here are suicidal but why are you still alive?

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Tmacster1

Well-Known Member
#21
I think it's good that you can't bring yourself to do it...don't want to lose you friend :hug:
I wouldn't want to loose you either. Yeah I could never bring myself to do it - at least not like I did before. But, I've made it a long ways since than which is a great achievement.

Trevor,
 
#23
I haven't because of my Mom she has been thru enough in her life doesn't need pain caused my killing myself, but I do pray for an accident or another way to die that isn't by my own hand. I struggle with it all the time. Also because I keep praying it will get better but it hasn't just keeps getting harder. I feel like I am being pushed towards it that it is always being redirected to it. I don't want it. I want my situations to change and I do act to change them. I am getting off base. But that is why, maybe I want something to save me from it, right now my dog tries to snap me out it for the moment. But what I really want is something to stop me from wanting to die. But mostly absolutely is my Mom if anything happened to her if she died I would follow.
 

TheBLA

The biggest loser ever to live.
#26
I don't think I really have hopes of my life ever getting better. I think I'm mostly alive because I'm kept on "life support" by my parents. I live in their house and have their company as well as that of my younger brother. I also have their emotional and financial support. I am a very weak and vulnerable person. I think when I move out of my parent's home and am truly alone in this vast, cruel world, then I will attempt suicide a short time afterwards. I've been suicidal since joining this website over 6 years ago but I think living with them has kept me from attempting thus far.

I am afraid of a failed suicide attempt and ending up as a "vegetable" or such, that would really stink. I am also afraid of what will happen to be beyond this life. Will there be an afterlife and will if it pleasant for me if I decide to take my life? Well, nobody truly knows the answer to that. Nobody has ever gone and come back to tell us about it.
 

Fredericks

Well-Known Member
#27
I've come close a few times, but those moments are rare. Only maybe two or three times in my life has my whole mind been agreed on suicide, and I only didn't succeed then because those moments ended and I got scared. I'm still suicidal most of the time, but there's always that terror hanging around that keeps me from trying.
 
#30
Interesting question, I must admit that I really don't know why to be honest, I think though it's down to a few things

1.Fear of what death actually is, the finality of it all and the idea that if there is some existence afterwards I'd be punished for quitting this one. Basically referring to Hell, as ludicrous a notion as that is.

2.I think I'm waiting for the appropriate time, I don't go on about it or complain because I've done that in the past and it's pointless, just try to help people with their lives which at the moment, for example being polite to my family and making them feel happy by telling them that all is well. Helping students at University so that they can have the best possible start to their adult lives. It's really quite fulfilling stuff and I'd recommend that others do the same. Once my mum and nan have passed on I feel I'll be free to follow because they are the only one's who would be devasted and it's not fair to inflict that on people who have been so kind to me.

3.Now this one kinda contradicts the last one but I want to be remembered, I spent years of my life with no friends and anxiety problems which gave me a fear of being around people and made simple day to day tasks nigh on impossible. Now that I'm helping out students and in a band, when I finally do "get the job done" those people will be forced to miss me because they have a dependance on me... or a use rather than an empotional connection.
 
#31
well for one (myself anyway) its too damn scary to do the deed. i know i need to, i just cant seem to get the guts to do it. my life is over anyway, might as well make it official by killing the body too. im just trying to get the courage to do it , i think there are lots like me here- in massive pain, but just chicken shit.
 
#32
well for one (myself anyway) its too damn scary to do the deed. i know i need to, i just cant seem to get the guts to do it. my life is over anyway, might as well make it official by killing the body too. im just trying to get the courage to do it , i think there are lots like me here- in massive pain, but just chicken shit.
I certainly wouldn't encourage anyone to commit suicide, but it's always bothered me that it's referred to as "the cowards way out" because for me at least the only reason it hasn't happend is because I don't have the balls to do it.
 

LetMeBe

Active Member
#33
I've tried several times when I was younger, and was hospitalized for it. As I got older, and through therapy, I realized that I wasn't looking to die, but to stop whatever it was that was causing the pain/confusion/frustration/situation. However, I'm still a bonafide coward about it! I think I'd have succeeded if I knew a painless, non-messy way, and wasn't afraid of the emptiness beyond what I can see, now. No idea what happens afterwards. Currently, my dog keeps me alive. No one else can/will take care of him, and he depends upon me.
 
#35
I know it would hurt my mom tremendously if I really went through with suicide. I've attempted twice before, been hospitalized both times. I also don't know what's on the other side... if I were dead, would I be in just as much pain in eternity?
 

GreyCat

Well-Known Member
#36
I don't want to tarnish the lives of the people around me by making them deal with the aftermath. It would mess them up, and I want them to be happy. I can still cope, my quality of life is not amazing, but I'm alive and I'm managing. Meds help.
 

muse1001

Well-Known Member
#39
Kind of a complicated question to answer, but I guess for me I'm still in the "planning" stage. I know a lot of people have impulsive suicides, but that just isn't the sort of thing I would do. I want to make sure that any method I use will be foolproof, with absolutely no possibility of surviving it.

And really, I guess I haven't completely given up on life yet. Getting there, but I'm not quite there yet. Why that is I'm not sure.
 

lifeless84

Well-Known Member
#40
Because I am too weak to do it. I am afraid of failure, that I will be rescued and I can't stand the thought of everyone looking at me and asking 'why'. Or worse, being rescued and becoming cripple.
Because, even though I suffered much from people around, the close ones, I am not 'vengeance' type of person and I still care for them. I am afraid of hurting some of them...
Because, if God and afterlife exist, I am afraid of going to hell (though, if it does, I am probably already doomed, so why should I care...)
 
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