I've tried several times when I was younger, and was hospitalized for it. As I got older, and through therapy, I realized that I wasn't looking to die, but to stop whatever it was that was causing the pain/confusion/frustration/situation. However, I'm still a bonafide coward about it! I think I'd have succeeded if I knew a painless, non-messy way, and wasn't afraid of the emptiness beyond what I can see, now. No idea what happens afterwards. Currently, my dog keeps me alive. No one else can/will take care of him, and he depends upon me.