Been a long time since I have been here but now find myself in crisis. I was most fortunate enough to receive riches 9 months ago. I had a good time fishing, camping and "helping" my new found friends. Cash is gone & so are my "friends". The holiday is here and I choose to be alone. I am so embarrassed I let people use me how they did. I do have family but because of my depresion I am considered an outcast. I recieve disability due to my condition and therefore am officially a holiday "fruitcake" to my family. I sent out 40 plus cards this year and so far recieved one...from my landlord....with a notice of rent increase. As much as I had a very good last year, I was only watching others being happy. I set my feelings aside when I can make others happy. Law enforcement can teach youngsters to just say no. They can't teach me. Saying no to feeding poverty is much harder and I can't do it anymore. I'm broke. But yet I keep being asked for help and I give it. I now can't pay my own bills. I am going to loose my place.