Mother Attempted Suicide...Any Insight?

Discussion in 'Suicidal Thoughts and Feelings' started by needmymomaround, Mar 31, 2012.

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  1. needmymomaround

    needmymomaround New Member

    Everyone I'm having a REALLY hard time with this. My mom who I love dearly attempted suicide Sunday evening. My mom is happily married for 33 years now, has wonderful family support who visits weekly, has 2 grandkids who they visit weekly. All in all I see my parents atleast twice a week if not more, as does my brother. My mom is a give it all type and has given everything she has to her job for the last 11 years and their were some recent changes there that made her feel less than NEEDED but I dont know how that could push her to this.

    Looking back on it we missed signs. She thought she was going through menapause as she was feeling down so we ordered her a book as she requested, did go to a family doctor for anti depresents but didnt tell us about it, gave away a few items to her sister which we didnt know about, and gave us our baby books. We thought it was simply her gift to us as we started families and she wanted us to carry on the baby books for ours and thought it would be encouragement.

    Regardless, while I was over my mom and dads house on Sunday she made dinner, sat and talked to me for a while about nothing really important, gave me a kiss goodnight because she was feeling tired, did the same to my dad, and walked into her bedroom and proceeded pills in hopes to not wake up. My dad went to bed a few hours later and didnt want to disturb her so he layed next to her without attempting to wake her. in the morning she is normally up and didnt wake up so my dad started shaking her, response...ambulance, etc to the hospital. We look EVERYWHERE for perscriptions as she had taken 1 cold pill and told us about it, and will often take an ambien to sleep when she is really tired so we were trying to figure out if the cold pill had an adverse affect of mixing...We couldn't find anything, no bottles, nothing. She proceeded to sit in her bed and take all but one pill that I found in her drawer the next day with a bottle of water that we found on the floor between the bed and night stand. She thought this threw, she didnt want to wake up, and we can't figure out what in the world she would do that for. Why she didnt turn to us to get help first. Why our love for her and her love for us and her grandkids wouldnt overpower anything that she may be struggling with. How should could leave her husband, kids, and grandkids without us knowing note, nothing. I didnt leave her side at the hospital, neither did my dad or brother from Monday at 7am through transport to the mental health facility Friday evening...we love her terribly and need her around. She's now in a mental health facility trying to figure out what's going on but currently we have no answers and are desperately seeking them. We are unable to reach her and visiting hours are tomorrow but I needed to ask if anyone knows what may have happend? is there a state of mind you can get in where you dont think about the good, you dont think about what you may be doing to others and you only concentrate on the bad? She will hug me and love me, she will hug my baby girl and say how much she loves her and her other grandchild, but then turn around and do this? How can that be? We are all financially stable, no verbal or physical abuse, nothing...shes the last person I would have expected this from. Anyone help?
    Last edited by a moderator: Mar 31, 2012
  2. AsphyxiateOnWords

    AsphyxiateOnWords If you're 555, then I'm 666.

    Yes, there is such a state of mind. She's obviously hurting about something, and it's you and your family's job, now that you know, to find out what it is and look for such signs in the future so that it doesn't happen again.
  3. Sadeyes

    Sadeyes Staff Alumni

    Some people do not express themselves in a way that they can be helped...they think they are doing this for the ones they love, to not burden them, but, in fact, it is within this secret world that they are could have done nothing more than you did and clearly, this is not your fault...many people are depressed in spite of what they have...great family, loving, kind, but their depression does not allow them to access this...I am glad she is safe and hopefully, she will get the care that she needs...this is where family support is critical, as a person feels very ashamed having done this...also, the quality of services does vary greatly, so the family is very important to assure that the person is receiving good care...I am sorry you went through this, but know this has nothing to do with her love for you.
  4. needmymomaround

    needmymomaround New Member

    thank you for that...i do worry about her care as she was required to go to a facility after her hospial stay. She said she would go volunatrialy but it had to be one of two facilities. We can't find a great deal of information on it, and tomorrow will be the first visit which we all plan on attending to show our support as well as every visit after that that she is still in the facility. We will go to therapists every day if we need to until we find one she connects with and can open up with. I need this lady and I thought she needed us before I know more than ever she NEEDS us, I just hope that she wants us...As I said I would have NEVER thought she would do this but the more I read the less and less it seems to be about us or how she feels about us and the more and more its about her and how her depression is bringing her to a point where she cant get satisfaction from anything even though it's not how it was expressed...I need to get her to know that when she's feeling down she has to speak up...she's not being a burden she's doing what we all want her to do in being open and enabling us to help...She has expressed being sorry for putting us through this but she has not yet said that she regrets doing it...I'm not sure in her mind if there is a difference but to me its huge...I know she doesnt want to cause me pain or our family BUT is she sorry she caused us pain by doing this or is she sorry for doing this which caused us pain? We monitored her vitals watching liver and kidney enzymes AST and ALT measurements rise and begin to get treated for liver failure when we told her that she was going to wake up from the overdose but we are unsure of any lasting effects as their may be liver and kidney damage she prayed she would be ok which I was confused about....someone who takes that many pills without hesitation, without taking a handful and thinking about what she just did and calling us in the room for help, etc is now waking up saying please let me recover? While she is completely out of it in the ER before I know what's going on I tell her her 4 month old grandbaby is on the way to see her incase she doesnt make it and she opened an eye and smiled but when doctors where yelling at her minutes earlier they couldnt get her to move a muscle, or respond at all...its that kind of love I thought would get us through any obsticle together and it's hard for an uneducated person in the way of depression to understand its a completely seperate thing...this is all just really hard right now
  5. Acy

    Acy Mama Bear - TLC, Common Sense Staff Member Safety & Support

    :hug: I'm sorry you're having to deal with this. I'm sure it's scary and confusing for all of you.

    I can see how your mom's attempt and then praying to survive could be confusing for you. Many times a person who is suicidal does not want to "die", but rather wants to find a way to stop the emotional pain. The pain is so intense that dying is the only path the person can see or think of. Depression can really crush a person's thinking skills, hope, and self-worth. Sometimes surviving an attempt, helps a person to see that what he/she really wants and needs is a better way to cope with things.

    It's good that your mom is getting the care and help she needs, and she is very lucky to have such a wonderful family. As you support your mom through this, I hope you and your family take care of yourselves, too. I suspect it's a bit rocky for all of you, atm. I hope you'll let us know how you and she are doing.
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