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Mother will be the death of me

Discussion in 'Rants, Musings and Ideas' started by WhyMeWhy, Feb 29, 2008.

  1. WhyMeWhy

    WhyMeWhy Well-Known Member

    She took 80 valium within 24 hours! She drank on top of it! I can't handle watchin her kill herself! I'd much rather die! I can't go into all of it now, I need sleep. I can't take it much longer. It really will be the death of me though. This is the purest form of torture!
  2. ~CazzaAngel~

    ~CazzaAngel~ Staff Alumni

    awww hun, I'm so sorry. if you need to talk feel free to contact me. Take care hun. :hug:
  3. WhyMeWhy

    WhyMeWhy Well-Known Member

    OK, I've gotten what little sleep I can.
    1st. She's an addict. Thats one of the only things we have in common. But her addiction runs deeper than mine. She has lived w/ it for many more years than I've even lived.
    2nd. She's so angry all the time....sometimes I think it's where I get my insanity from, 'cause she is quite insane. Bordering on psychotic I suppose.
    She takes no meds for this condition, she just lives that way. She only takes meds for deppression, anxiety & sleep.
    3rd. She needs help, mentally. More help than I can possibly give, not bein a trained professional.
    4th. She uses me it feels. Like I exist only to serve/help her. The reward is little or none. But I can't truly say that. The reward is she helps keep me off the streets.
    It's a form of stability, bein w/ her. On my own I'd fuck it all up & end up who knows where? That's why, one of the reasons why I'm w/ her in life.
    4. Idk what to do on my own right now.
    So this is why I'm w/ her. Plus she needs help takin care of my mentally unstable younger bro-so that's what I do.
    This may not be the best life for me, but it's a life right? Better than bein a street junkie. For as long as I can withstand her. I'm awake because I can't sleep, I have to check on her all night to make sure she doesn't die from her use/abuse(80 valiums, alcohol,
    & she's holding codeine which I pray she hasn't taken all of). So that's that. I'm stuck in this situation for now. I can only hope things get better.
  4. Carcinogen

    Carcinogen Well-Known Member

    I take it there's no way you could take her to a hospital, or in future hold on to some of her pills? I know in this situation there's not much you can do.
    Hope everything goes OK, as far as it's able to
  5. Dave_N

    Dave_N Guest

    I hope that you and your mom are ok whymewhy. It must be really hard watching your mother hurt herself like that.