Mother won't accept BP disorder

[anarulesmenow]

Hi, I'm 18 and I have been diagnosed with bipolar disorder but my mother won't believe it or accept it, and I'm almost afraid that she never will do. I'm off to the doctors in the next month to sort out some meds, but I don't want to go because I'm a little scared and I don't want to go alone. I can't take her though, and none of my friends know. My father doesn't, but I'd rather it be that way. I've ordered some books for my mother about coping with a bipolar family member but I'm not sure if she'll actually read them.

I just want her to accept my disorder and she just won't and I really need her to, more than anyone. I want to tell my friends but I'm afraid they might react in the same way, but it's her that I want to understand the most. She thinks its silly, and I told her about ordering the books and she thought that was silly too because she doesn't believe that I can be bipolar. This is really tearing me up now.

 

[aoeu]

I have a suspicion that she's been diagnosed or suspected of having bipolar herself and is in denial. Nothing much to be done for it. :\

 

[anarulesmenow]

I don't think she has

 

[the masked depressant]

I have a suspicion that she's been diagnosed or suspected of having bipolar herself and is in denial. Nothing much to be done for it. :\

actually, good point.

maybe she knows more than she's letting on

either way though, it's not right. parents should accept you for who you are, and not make assumptions

 

[aoeu]

Given that it tends to be genetic, it might be the case. I've found that people unfamiliar with mental illness tend to be more confused, but people with personal experience either deny or support.

For instance, two of the most intolerable people I've found for this were Anna, who often seemed depressed, and my grandmother who has bipolar and massive anxiety (undiagnosed, AFAIK.)

 

[solutions]

I'm sorry, I don't see the sense behind that. If she were manic-depressive herself, it would be very likely for her to be more empathetic, not rejecting. Not to mention that she would need to be medicated, which she would no doubt be caught doing at some point.

I think this is about a parent not wanting to believe her child will be perpetually sick. The nature of the illness combined with the stigma of having it can tear some parents apart inside. General medical conditions are bad enough, mental illnesses are frightening. It will likely take some time for her to get used to the idea. If given some time, she may begin to show more empathy than she's allowing herself now.

 

[anarulesmenow]

Actually, I've just been thinking and she has been diagnosed with depression before but she's always been very cagey about it. And my grandad has always been a bit that way. I can't say for definate whether they've both got anything of course, but maybe.

 

[Anime-Zodiac]

Who knows why she truly is acting that way. Tell her exactly what you have told us, explain to her your feelings, etc. But whatever she chooses, she should definitely support you.

 

[anarulesmenow]

She read a book about it called Bipolar Disorder-The Ultimate Guide yesterday, and she said to me today that she doesn't think I can have it, as Bipolar disorder doesn't explain my alcohol abuse and my irritability and anger. Later on she said she thought I was just paranoid instead (I'm down at the moment and I'm at that point where I can't go into public places because of it).
What she said doesn't make sense to me though. Its thought that around 30-60% of people with Bipolar are substance abusers and irritability and paranoia can be major factors in Bipolar disorder.

 

[aoeu]

Um, yeah... Those are classic signs and are used in diagnosis, even. Irritability and anger is exactly what a dysphoric mania involves (dunno conclusively about paranoia, but it sounds about right). And, as you point out, a massive proportion of those with bipolar have substance abuse problems (I certainly did until I got it under control).

 

[anarulesmenow]

Exactly. When she said that I was like 'erm, didnt you just read a book about it?'

 

[ExtreemWays]

Hi anarulesmenow,

My mom is the same way! She is just in denial.

After all I've been through with bipolar disorder, she still thinks I have CFIDS.

What can one say. Maybe one day she will wake up and realize that her son has bp disorder... maybe not. It's up to her.

Since you experience dysphoric symptoms, keep an eye out for mixed symptoms. I experience dysphoric symptoms but I also have a mixed symptom set. Someone is mixed when they experience both depression symptoms and mania symptoms at the same time. Can be difficult to diagnose.

Alcohol/Drugs? Sounds like you were self medicating. I did it too.


-ew

 

[the_only_one]

my mom pisses me off when it comes to this. she says im lying about my depression just to get out of HW and chores. what the hell does she know! when i kill myself, i hope she realizes shes a huge part of thatdecision! she refuses to pay for help!

 

[nolonger]

my mom pisses me off when it comes to this. she says im lying about my depression just to get out of HW and chores. what the hell does she know! when i kill myself, i hope she realizes shes a huge part of thatdecision! she refuses to pay for help!

:hug:

I fear that my life is starting to become the same thing. I try to avoid most of my homework. Well I actually do no homework what so ever. But I don't really remember to do it, or I can't remember HOW to do it....? Then there's teachers that keep nagging at me because I haven't handed in a draft of an assignment or some shit, when really, I don't want to be at school. No one cares what the kid wants. Only what the parent wants.

 

[sunshinesblack]

wow very interesting thread
glad i read, makes me feel less alone
i think i might have skizoaffective disorder but thats not what i wanted to say
I think the person sayng that people that had issues themselves r the most in denial about theyr kids and against it is right

My parents where the same and while they I did not realize growing up cause they always made me feel like the black sheep and they where the proudest fools on the block, I know my mom was diagnosed nevrotic in university and my dad grew up with a bipolar mom and has all the signs of skizoaffective himself (now things add up ). Now at 24 looking back they have been the most cruel people in my life, at school everyone knew im mentall and have issues, they got angry every time i bought issues up (any issues, now drawing the line only discussions alloud where about the weather and computers) and made shure life would be as aggravating as possible for me. It makes me crazy angry just writing about it so i wont , my point is they only made it worst every single fuking time knowing what the effects would be,
you can be shure if it starts that bad it will continue sadly, let them go they dont deserve you , at least thats my conclusion after years of social and emotional abuse, being mental and all i think i deserve batter and can do batter