Mothers - ARGH!!! Who'd have them.

Discussion in 'Rants, Musings and Ideas' started by Aurora Gory Alice, Oct 22, 2009.

  1. Aurora Gory Alice

    Aurora Gory Alice Well-Known Member

    You just piss me off so much, how fucking dare you be so damn discouraging all the time. ARRRGGHHHH FUCK YOU!!!!!!!! YOU CAN BE SUCH A STUPID EVIL BITCH SOMETIMES!!!!! WHY DO I STILL BLOODY WELL LIVE HERE!!!!???

    GOD!!!!!!! FOR FUCKING FUCKS SAKE!!! Why can't you just be supportive? You have NEVER done that! I don't think you even know what the sodding words means!!!

    You are so fucking useless.
  2. J_Oli3

    J_Oli3 Well-Known Member

    ... I can't add anymore to that. My sentiments exactly.
    A little understanding and support would be nice once in a while.

    I despise her, I truly do.
  3. lifeisashedog

    lifeisashedog Well-Known Member

    Relax, she will eventually empty her batteries because of old age. My mother did. Her communication still consists mainly from nagging and complaining, but at least she does it quietly and politely and no more in Hitler style.
  4. ZombiePringle

    ZombiePringle Forum Buddy and Antiquities Friend

    Linds :hug: Its okay. I know that you capable of doing great things. No matter what anybody else says even if it is your own mother.
  5. Jemi200

    Jemi200 Well-Known Member

    Try going to counseling to learn how to be more independent of her.
  6. sudut

    sudut Well-Known Member

    I hope you and your mum sort out the differences between you sooner or later because one day you will miss her.
  7. Aurora Gory Alice

    Aurora Gory Alice Well-Known Member

    Sudut - You know what, I know people are 'only human' and can't help but to be bitchy and discouraging at times. But ALL the time? Of course I will miss her, she's my mum.

    I am her daughter and I try to be a good daughter by simply doing the thing I'm supposed to - love and respect her.
    Why can't she do the same for me?
  8. Chargette

    Chargette Well-Known Member

    What kind of statements does your mom use when she is discouraging?

  9. Petal

    Petal SF dreamer Staff Member Safety & Support SF Supporter

    My mother is the same, she has never been supportive of me ever. Even when I was doing well in therapy, she wanted me to leave it. :( I dont know, I guess its a control thing.
  10. Aurora Gory Alice

    Aurora Gory Alice Well-Known Member

    Words like 'ha, You?! I doubt it' or 'I can't see YOU doing that' or 'I don't think you realise how difficult that is' or 'it's not all that easy ya know'.

    And I always say to her "has it been done before" (I wait for the yes of course it has but...) and then I say "well it can be done again".

    That's when I get the "yeah hmpf. Well if you say so".
  11. Chargette

    Chargette Well-Known Member

    Maybe when she says things like that you can turn that back to her and ask, "how have you done this?" or "what do you see that needs to be done to do this?"

    Get her talking in detail. Then observe her. Maybe she has struggled a lot in life. Maybe her parents spoke to her this way and she is an echo of them. That happens to most people. We echo the things said to us when we we're growing up.

    If you begin to see stuff like this in her life, I suggest giving her a :hug:
  12. necrodude

    necrodude Well-Known Member

    mums can be right bitches sometimes. but you only get one and with any luck you can move out
  13. lifeisashedog

    lifeisashedog Well-Known Member

    My mother made a lot of recovery from her bitching-disease after her mother, my grandma, died. She (my mother) hated her (my grandma's) guts, but nevertheless she went visit her every weekend just to quarrel with her. I guess after grandma died, my mother finally found some peace in her heart, because she no longer had to prove herself to a bigger control-obsessed bitch.
  14. Aurora Gory Alice

    Aurora Gory Alice Well-Known Member

    Yeah my Mum was brought up this way. (We don't hug or say I love you so there's no chance of that sadly Vivian).

    I would hate to be this way with my children. In fact it scares me everyday that I will end up carrying this on. Because I hate it, it has ruined me.

    The funny thing is we constantly talk about the other women in my family (Mum has 3 older sisters, each sister had one daughter. Same as my mother, she has one daughter - me. NONE of my Mums sisters get along with their daughters. Mum says how we're not like that, because she thinks her sisters are idiots the way they treat their offspring, but little does she realise she has followed suit!).
  15. lifeisashedog

    lifeisashedog Well-Known Member

    Second: My mother also loved to read pathetic "romantic" stories in which children leave their mother but never make it in the big world outside, so they come back home crying to momma. (Such trash literature was quite popular in times of socialism) I guess, when I miraclouously graduated (after 8 years of studying) I irreversibly ruined her drama and she never really recovered from that shock :nomoremistergoodstuntsmilie:
  16. Aurora Gory Alice

    Aurora Gory Alice Well-Known Member

    Wow, your Mum sounds very difficult! It's annoying how they became their mothers, because doesn't it just scare the living daylights out of you that we will become ours?

    My Mum constantly said how she resented a lot of the things her mum did to her, so why she does it to me is beyond me!
  17. lifeisashedog

    lifeisashedog Well-Known Member

    And third: A few years ago my cousin girl went to hunger strike (anorexia) an suddenly I was no longer the only problematic disgrace in the family. So her supply of worrying fell on two heads instead of one. I really must buy my cousin some nice gift someday for relieving me of half of the emotional burden. :cake:
  18. Aurora Gory Alice

    Aurora Gory Alice Well-Known Member

    lol! I wish someone would do that for me. I'm still the only problematic disgrace!
  19. lifeisashedog

    lifeisashedog Well-Known Member

    To some it up: Just remember to keep breathing and maybe a miracle will come someday from the direction you least expect ::biggrin:
  20. itmahanh

    itmahanh Senior Member & Antiquities Friend

    I'm a Mom :sad: I hope my kids dont see me this way :sad: