Discussion in 'I Have a Question...' started by Izziebabystar, Apr 17, 2009.


Do you hate your mother??

  1. YES!!!!!!!

    9 vote(s)
  2. NO couldnt hate her

    16 vote(s)
  3. not really sure tbh

    11 vote(s)
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  1. Izziebabystar

    Izziebabystar Well-Known Member

    who here has really bad relashionship probelems with there mothers to the point of it being so totaly fucked theres no going back
  2. Acy

    Acy Mama Bear - TLC, Common Sense Staff Member Safety & Support

    My mother and I had a rather volatile and unpredictable day-to-day relationship.

    Problems from her family, upbringing and youth influenced how she raised me. I now understand and accept that she did the best she could - the best "she knew how" to do. But at the time (and even now as I look back), some things hurt so much. Our relationship was often like putting a match to a keg of gunpowder. KA - BOOOOOM!

    Do I hate her? (Did I?) Really hate her? Well, only when I loved and hated her simultaneously - I was "conflicted" in reaction to her often contradictory words and behavior. Sometimes she seemed to provoke me purposefully, sometimes she did things so thoughtful and generous it was like heaven...I never knew which mother to expect from day to day.

    Do I hate my mother? No. She died almost 20 years ago. I don't hate her. I miss her. :sad:
  3. mixedemotions

    mixedemotions Forum Buddy

    I would never say that I hate her, but some times I hate the things she says and does.
    We don't always get along but I still 'love' her. She is my mam after all...

    She might not listen and understand and think about her self to much to care about me... but she is still my mam and i love her
  4. crookxshanks

    crookxshanks Well-Known Member

    i dont hate her but i know that i couldnt live with her again as she drives me mad. a lot of the things that i say to her just dont get through because of how she just doesnt want to know, understand or just doesnt point blank care. ive spent a lot of my life just wanting her to understand and care about me but i know its never going to happen. im not one of her priorities in life and ive accepted that now. however much it hurts
  5. Scum

    Scum Well-Known Member

    I don't hate my mum, not in the slightest, I've only ever wanted her love and wanted to please her. I won't get it, but it's what I wanted.
  6. wheresmysheep

    wheresmysheep Staff Alumni

    me and my mum have a love hate relationship.
    She does "love" me because i am her daughter, and thats it. as a person she hates me, and she has told me this, she hates because 'you dont know what you've been given, your life is on a silver platter for you and you turn you nose up at it'
    well thats what she says anyway.
    also she refuses to believe me on my mental health isuues, she says its just an act and theres nothing wrong with me at all, and i just lazy.

    i HAD respect for her, and love, but sadly they have diminished of late and i really dont want her in my life.
    she doesnt want me as i am an 'unnecessary responsibility' for her to deal with.

    i'm sorry to anyone who has a lost a parent
  7. thedeafmusician

    thedeafmusician Staff Alumni

    For all of the crap that she's done to me and put me through, I realise she only did what she thought was right at the time. Granted, she's mostly wrong about those things, it was her actions I disliked. I do not hate my mother. I couldn't.
  8. fromthatshow

    fromthatshow Staff Alumni SF Supporter

    I hate my parents. I used to think it was a universal thing... that all kids hate their parents, but apparently some people do get along with their parents and believe their parents love them.
    My mother is more like a friend than a mother to me. And that's cool like if I want to talk to her about drugs/sex/rock&roll (well you know what I mean), but it's not cool because she doesn't seem to care. Me being suicidal and all, it doesn't even seem to phase her. I think my suicidality was my cry out to help from her and I got none.
  9. Stranger1

    Stranger1 Forum Buddy & Antiquities Friend

    I don't get much from my mom..She doesn't know how to show love.. Actually she shows no emotions..I did hear her crying at my brother in laws funeral..She is always in a haze from all the valuim she eats..She's been like that for years.. Do I hate her?? No!!She's just like the rest of us.. She doesn't know what to make of life.. It Sucks !!!
  10. fromthatshow

    fromthatshow Staff Alumni SF Supporter

    I want to hug you all :grouphug:
    At least we can be there for each other since our parents weren't.
  11. ~Claire

    ~Claire Well-Known Member


    I don't have a great relationship with my Mum. I don't think I hate her cos she's still my Mum at the end of the day but I certainly don't trust her & I don't particularly like her either a lot of the time.
  12. mdmefontaine

    mdmefontaine Antiquities Friend

    ....i don't 'hate' her. hate is a strong word, and i think hate turns itself, inward. and i don't want to be poisoned, inside.

    ....i struggle to maintain a relationship with my mom. she would tell the world we are '''very close'''. but the real truth is, she does not like me. she thinks i am a failure. and she thinks since i am not financially ok, that i am a loser. her favorite phrase to me begins ."****, for such an INTELLIGENT woman, you make the worst decisions......." and then the rant continues.

    .....i never received affection from her. but i was never mistreated, in fact i was spoiled materially, but not by hugs and kisses. those i never got. instead i was expected to be 'perfect', so that i could reflect her splendid parenting - to her friends, family, the community. she does not care about what i want, or what i need, or about having an authentic relationship, with me. she ONLY wants to hear me say ""i'm fine....i have money . . i don't need anything from you..'"" otherwise she tunes me out. or at times, actually hangs up on me.

    ...i have continued to try and get mothered by her - but she continues to fail, as a mother, by shaming me and rejecting me.

    ....the only good thing to come from this, is that i have been the OPPOSITE kind of mother - and i continue to be so - with my OWN daughters. i tell them they are great, just as they ARE . and that i think they are awesome people. i hug and kiss them so much they run from me! :rolleyes: but they never spend a moment, thinking i don't love them.
  13. plates

    plates Well-Known Member

    i have been mother to my mother.

    so when i show distress, she wants me to shut up and look after her distress at seeing me in distress (which i have to hide from her otherwise she goes hysterical)
  14. aoeu

    aoeu Well-Known Member

    My relationship with my mother is... good, but unhealthy for me. She's dependent on me and limits my social development.

    I hate my father, though.
  15. Mandy1

    Mandy1 Antiquities Friend & Senior Member

    I dont hate my other at all,i love her with all my heart,but i no she despises me,shes told me all my life.Nevermind...
  16. Remedy

    Remedy Chat & Forum Buddy

    When she's drunk I just want to throw her out the window. :dry:
    When she's sober she's lovely. So I voted not sure. Love / hate relationship.
  17. wastedmylife

    wastedmylife Well-Known Member

    when I was younger I thought I hated her, now I feel bad for her, I am sure it is killing her what has happened to my life
  18. I do not hate my mother, I hate how she has treated me, and how she treats me now. I hate the abuse she inflicts(ed) on me. I hate how she is not a mother to me. But I donot hate her.
  19. unbearable

    unbearable Well-Known Member

    My mum left me when I was a year old because I got in the way of her going out every night and sleeping around. I loved her when I was little although she only bothered to have contact every few months despite living less then an hour away, not even a phone call or card on birthdays.
    I couldn't see what she was when I was a child although I felt the pain, but when I got to 14 and a more grown up mind I seen what a spiteful liar she is. its now been 9 years since I seen her. some relationships are too damaging to go on, she would have kept messing my head up.
    yes I do hate her because I'm still suffering with abandoned child syndrome and am very lonely and emotional.
  20. Starlite

    Starlite Senior Member

    No I never did hate my mom, sure we had our ups and downs, but i didn't hate or nor dislike her in any way..i had a good mom, and now that she is gone, i wish i had her back ! Miss her more now than ever!
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