moved across the country

[Auerbach]

I have recently went to live across the country for one month, I have been here for three weeks and have one more week left here. It was definitely a change of environment for me. At first i liked it, all the little things about this place that are different from where i am. but after two weeks there were so many triggers, and i had a crisis where i felt like attempting suicide or like self harming. Luckily i was able to be talked down.

The reason why i went into crisis was because i was feeling worse here than I did back home. I felt that I do not fit in anywhere and that it is going to be like that anywhere i go, i was feeling hopeless thinking that it does not matter where i go, the same problems arise, the same thing that i was dealing with back home. I don't feel like there is any place for me, to feel comfortable and it does not help that i feel like everyone dislikes me or has something against me.

I am leaving in a week and I can honestly say that I can't wait to get home. The living situation was always awkward here from the start. And I just am feeling really home sick and uncomfortable here. And I am also still feeling depressed. This depression follows me everywhere i go, interfering with my thoughts and emotions, making my social anxiety and major depression worse.

 

[DayDreamerStratus]

Hey- When I was 10, I moved all the way from Minnesota to California, so I understand what you're feeling! The first few weeks in a new place are really difficult. When I started Highschool, I was picked on by old friends and was invisible to everyone else for a MONTH. But after that initial month, people got to know me and now I have tons of friends. Home is where the heart is, but a little change is good too. You can't expect to always feel perfect, especially when starting all over in a new place. There will be ups and downs, but in the end you might end up having a rich and rewarding experience if you stick around. Since that isn't your plan, I reccomend trying to address the roots of your problems and try to see if there's anything you can do to fix or prevent them. Keep us posted- I really hope things work out for you. And although I don't know much about your story, I've been in your shoes in this regard too many times when it comes to leaving somewhere and starting from scratch.

 

[Auerbach]

thanks for your feedback daydreamer