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Moving Abroad to start fresh

Discussion in 'Mental Health Disorders' started by Wreks1, Dec 20, 2010.

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  1. Wreks1

    Wreks1 Member

    I just hate how my life has gone up to this point... i'm 19 years old, feel like my youth is slowly going away which make me even more depressed.... friends aren't really friends, their just people that use me to benefit themselves...

    All my efforts go unnoticed... all the shit i've done for so many people and i get absolutely nothing in return.. it seems like if your a good person at heart it gets you nowhere and then crime seems to pay off?

    most of all i hate the people that kiss ass... theres hardly any "real" people anymore... all of em only care about what people are wearing, how cool other people are..... i had a girlfriend before and my so called friends just made fun of us, saying shit like why did u go out with her? i dont give a fuck if the girl isn't a supermodel.... she is who she is. so sick of these fake ass people.

    I'm an apprentice, currently working my ass off for a shit wage when my employer does hardly any of the work and gets loads of cash.. which is complete bullshit. i feel a bit lonely and am tired of my routined lifestyle... it's just nothing exciting happening in my life at all.

    It makes me sick to my stomach how rich people abuse their status like rappers talking about cars, bitches and shit like that.... and people that work hard don't get the money they deserve.

    My current situation - i feel like i want to move to another country, what am i going to do there? i don't know. i just want the feeling of freedom and i'll probably resort to a life of crime, scams... whatever gets me the money, because i hate working here and i've had had enough of everyone's shit.. i've been a really good person and 19 years on this earth has gotten me fucking nowhere....

    so i'm thinking of risking it and next year just fuck off... i highly doubt anyone will miss me.. i have my employer's credit card pin number... i know a house where i can take some cash and just move away and start fresh... at the same time i'm a bit scared but i hope i'm gonna be ok because i won't have anywhere to live.. i was raised to be kind hearted and because of this i never realized what the real world was like, was a bit shy at a young age but ive changed so much that i feel like im different to most people... now that ive grown up i cant deal with this shit anymore....

    I have no girlfriend... twice ive fallen in love and then got my shit tore up, learnt the hard way...

    guess i just need someone that can understand my situation and maybe give me some advice on weather it's a good idea to move away like that...
    Last edited by a moderator: Dec 20, 2010
  2. Sadeyes

    Sadeyes Staff Alumni

    Hi and welcome...when I have to make a decision like this, I write the pros and cons and remember that many problems do fall us...will moving away allow more freedom or cause isolation? Will you find employment and live comfortably? These are just a few thoughts...best of luck in whatever you decide and please keep us posted...there are many ppl with a good heart here and yes, many people can relate to what you have written...big hugs and welcome again, J
  3. sunshinesblack

    sunshinesblack Well-Known Member

    erm what is stopping you to live a "life of crime" in your own country sounds like the ideal place, corruption prone and all? and be sure getting a criminal record will give a whole new twist to your emigrating, its the one thing governments are efficient at

    I get the situation you are in, people that only see benefits and social inequality....i think they come hand in hand, i also wasted my youth in a sad precarious place that sounds very similar to what you say (am 24) ,sorry not much advice sadly, i want to emigrate myself and been preparing for it but cant say i have much first hand knowledge (had 1 study semester abroad) and also have some personal issues holding me back.

    Anyway I had a, confirmed by others, feeling about emigrating, you have to be a fit there before you emigrate, if you go like a outsider just wanting batter thats all youll end up being even after years and settling with family, you have to feel like the place you are going has something for you and you for it on a deeper note, like finish people are extremely reduced emotionally but still have good polices for foreigners so if u r one of those people that hates human contact and want social security and quiet, might be the place, on the opposite Italians and uk r conflictual you have to be very fighting person, socially cunning and always ready for a show down so its hard but the results of competition in all domains (uk) makes for batter everything (maybe not peace of mind). Same scandinavian countrys offer a lot of heavy industry work, the warmer countryes have the hotels and leisure industries more evolved and youll have to deal with the type of people that put leisure and looks first.
    I want to get plastic sugery and bumped into an article saying a large ammount of emigrants get racial traits surgery to look more like the locals (dont ask me about it am only telling you what i read) Also one country has many cities and areas and they can very greatly. (south from north always does)

    Be sure youll have to prove yourself to locals and if you have that something they'll forget you are a foreigner if you don't you'll always be outcast, also some comunityes are just not open to foreigners, and emigrant type pressure can be very hard to take especially cause its very well controlled and inflicted by government. If you are coming from a poor country with no money you are greeted with "welcome peasant, do my laundry", you have to prove you are more than that and a lot cant, however if pay is batter they settle.
  4. Underground

    Underground Well-Known Member

    I'm 18 and when I was a bit younger, 15-16, I too strongly considered emigrating. I wanted to go to Canada/America/Brazil/Australia to get away from my problems and supposedly live a better life, but the truth is, every other country has it's fair share of problems, and unfortunately what you've described about the dog-eat-dogness is the same way all over the world. I actually appreciate my country a lot more, but it's understandable that some prefer to become an expat elsewhere.

    But the life of crime is a no-no. I don't know what country you currently live in, or are from, but the truth is, most of those successful criminals you see.. making loads of money from drug dealing get busted in the end, and get sentenced to numerous years in prison. You also mention about using your employers PIN number.. well, trust me, if you do that and get caught (which is extremely likely in todays digital world) you'll be done for fraud and have a criminal record.. no country will take you then.

    Have you ever considered going (back to?) college or uni and getting a degree? It'd take 4-5 years in total, but its completely worth it. Gives you a chance to get a big new social circle, live in a different part of the country/another country, and give a fresh experience.
  5. Wreks1

    Wreks1 Member

    I'm currently living in the UK... and yes i'm still at college, my passion used to be for ART but i can't make a living doing this and instead was pushed into doing Plumbing... which is something that i really hate. I choose to withdraw myself from most of the people at my college... the way i see it, they're all wasting their time at college just like i am and when i go to college i don't see any of the kids getting anywhere with what their doing. seems like their just in college because they have to be, because there's nothing else to do.

    I single myself out not because i'm uncool but because i choose to do so... i'm not interested in other people at my college and their bullshit, i have a few good friends and that's how it is.

    I seek a fresh experience.. without parents, i want to make it by myself to be an individual with freedom instead of living at home..

    yea i guess a lot of criminals go to jail but surely their the big time criminals... the ones that have warehouses full of drugs and stashes of cash... i just want to make a good living.

    My dream city to go to is Barcelona.. and that was my plan to go there. the only problem for me would be language wise and job wise (hence the idea of crime.... but it was a risk i was thinking about taking.. just to go on an adventure and leave everything behind and try to start a new life...

    because there's nothing for me here, it's like i can waste my life here... or i can waste it there where they have nice beaches, nice girls, good culture... etc..

    some of the main issues for my depression is fake friends wasting my time.... and being broke, if i had a good job that i enjoyed i could do more with my life instead i work my ass off everyday and when i get home i'm too tired to go out and enjoy myself.. so it's a constant cycle. a dead end job.

    Also to clarify, i'm not suicidal, i came across this site looking for advice and maybe to help a few people that also need someone...
    Last edited by a moderator: Dec 21, 2010
  6. Underground

    Underground Well-Known Member

    To be honest mate, it sounds like you're still looking at the idea of living in a different country with rose-tinted glasses, as you said about nice beaches, girls, culture. Everyone (well red blooded straight male) would like that, lol. I'd love to move to Brazil, on a nice hot beach, where there's lots of hunky hot Hispanic men, but I can dream. lol. Anyway, unless you've got a significant amount of money, that too is a wetdream. I don't mean to sound negative, it's just the way it is. The crime-riddled lifestyle you also want also is not an easy task and requires connections, etc etc. Well, if you want to last it for any significant amount of time.

    I see you don't like plumbing, well as you're an apprentice, is it not possible to move up or across for better money? I don't know much about these vocational training jobs, but I do know a plumber mate of mine is actually on quite good money.

    I don't know if this kind of thing interests you, but have you considered joining the armed forces, then, as uni isn't your thing? The pay isn't the best in the world, but you get subsidised living, you can learn a trade, you get to travel to various places in the world, meet new people, etc. Of course, it's an institutionalised way of living, but it gets you away from home. Gets you on your own two feet.

    I just really don't think going in the criminal direction is worth it, and you'll live to regret it. It's dark, dirty and dangerous. If you start living off other peoples credit, you'll just be constantly worried about getting caught, and the police, even if you did become quite rich. Then when you're caught, you're thrown in the slammer for a couple of years.. and you'll sit in that cell and think into what you've done and become.

    Mind you, I'm really probably not the best girl for advice. I'm in college myself and still have no clue on earth what I really wanna do. You can PM me anytime, though. :)
  7. Wreks1

    Wreks1 Member

    Yea plumbing is good money if you know what your doing, i just struggle when it comes to learning the theoretical side of it though, i just prefer physical work which is what im doing now... my employer is the brains and i'm the muscle - is how i see it.

    but it tires me out getting up at 7 working till 5.... then it just keeps repeating itself...

    I was pushed into this direction, it was definitely not my choice. I don't see moving away as an easy option, i see it as a risky one and one that's going to be just as hard. but i just don't feel like i fit in here at my college or in this town for that matter... and it isn't expensive moving away, a plane ticket would be cheap, a train ticket would be cheap....

    only thing id need is a place to stay and a job... and to be honest i still dont think ill be happy even if i do decide to move but i'm just a little confused i guess :/ just feel like i need to escape from here...

    and as long as i have enough money to live and a place to stay i think i might be alright.

    thanks for the advice so far though :)
  8. Underground

    Underground Well-Known Member

    Well, I suppose seeing as you're British(?), then moving to Spain or another Euro country wouldn't be the hardest thing in the world, as EU Citizens can move freely from one country to another within Europe and don't have to go through that Immigration buraeucratic BS. It's just little things that would make your stay a bit difficult, like jobs, money, etc. as sometimes employers prefer to hire locals over immigrants, but if you can find your ideal job in your ideal country (that isn't crime) then that's great.

    If your family or whoever has pushed you into a trade you don't really enjoy, then screw it. You're a legal adult now. You don't really have to do what they say, but I'm sure they have your best interests at heart, as it earns a good old decent honest wage. Would you find something like being an electrician more enjoyable, though?

    Some of these trades are even in demand in some places, so if you want to, research into it a bit more. I know Canada/Australia are quite interested in electricians right now. But perhaps Spain is, too. Although I haven't heard great things about the Spanish job market. Have you considered moving to another part of the UK?
  9. Wreks1

    Wreks1 Member

    Yea i have a british passport so i could go to Spain quite easliy.... i haven't considered becoming an electrician, i haven't really ever known what i wanted to be but i know plumbing is definitely not it.. i have no desire to learn it even though it is good money.. iv'e learned a few things but i don't thing i have the brains to be a good plumber.

    And i know if i travelled to somewhere like Barcelona i would have a lot more fun than i'm having here.. because of the mixed culture and the nice weather, different people visiting everyday.... etc

    If i could make it by myself then i know i'd be happy because at my age i still feel like im being controlled and i dont like it.. because if im not at college my parents feel as if im lazy when thats not it at all...

    My uncle emigrated to Germany from a poorer country, he didn't have anything... he married got citizenship, learned the language got a job, got an apartment....

    I'm sort of wanting to do the same... to stand on my own 2 feet. but i want to do it somewhere else... my only problem is getting there and running out of money or something like that, it will be a good year before i actually go through with so that i got enough money to stay somewhere and figure out what to do for work but it's something i really want to do at this stage of my life even if i learn from it that it may have been the wrong decision, i won't know until i try..

    i dont have enough money for a place of my own yet not even in the UK.. on a low wage at the moment bout £100 a week max
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