I have went through the hardest time in my life sense joining this community. I have messed up in ways that I cant forgive myself for and I have felt cared for for the first time in my life. Im thankfull for the people I have been able to help and I am so sorry for those that I have triggered. Through this experiance I have realised that the only place I really belong is in the millitary. Im attempting to join the army 'special forces' What exactly that entails I still dont know but I will figigure out and work through. This place has helped me so much and I am sorry for leaving it. I would request that whatever moderator that reads this locks out my other topics. (They are in Welcome, Suicide, Survival, Criis, Self harm, and Substance abuse. PM me and I will provide links.) Through my time here I have found dirrection in life. I knew what I was going to do but I needed a way to get there. Now I have it. Thank you all for everything.