Ms. Nobody

Discussion in 'Self Harm & Substance Abuse' started by Forsaken Heretic, Jun 15, 2008.

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  1. Forsaken Heretic

    Forsaken Heretic Well-Known Member

    I’m sick of my life.
    I’m sick of everything.

    My mom thinks that she owns me, that my time belongs to her. When she says jump, I’m not even allowed to ask “How high?” I just have to do it. She tells me that I’m going here or there with her, and even if I don’t want to, she makes me. If I tell her that I don’t really want to go, she gets completely pissed off and has an attitude. I could be tired from working a week straight, and I still have to go places with her. If I tell her I’m tired, she just throws back “Well I’m tired too.” But she’s the one that wants to fucking go!!! If I asked her to take me somewhere right after she gets off work, she gets pissed and yells that she’s fuckin’ tired, that she just worked all day.

    I feel like I have no life beyond what my family wants.
    This shit isn’t normal.

    I’m always expected to be the bigger person, I’m expected to give and give and give even if the person doesn’t give a shit about my giving. I’m told to keep in contract with someone who doesn’t want to keep in contract with me, and I end up feeling like a fool -- and it’s all because my family pushes these things on me. They can turn me down when I need something, and then in the next breath ask me for a favor.

    It’s all a bunch of bullshit, and I can’t take it anymore. I’m only here to be their fuckin’ slave, their servant -- and I can’t take this anymore.

    I’m nobody, I don’t matter.
    I’m so fuckin ready to cut, all I need is the opportunity.
     
  2. MaNg0s

    MaNg0s Well-Known Member

    I know cutting seems like the only way to release the pain you feel but it isn't. If your family distresses you this much the best thing to do is save as much money as you can and move out. But this also depends on your age. I take it that you work as you said you get tired from working a week straight so just save that money up and move. I know its hard not to cut trust me theres times where I find myself just dragging a ruler against my wrist because I miss cutting so much but cutting won't solve any of your problems. Be strong I hope everything works out for you.
     
  3. Oceans

    Oceans Well-Known Member

    I'm sorry you feel so distressed, feeling like you are a robot doing whatever is requested of you. It can be very draining, please try and do something pleasant for yourself once and a while because you are worth it, regardless of how your family treats you.

    Depending on your age, may be study hard or work hard to save enough money to move out and so you won't have to face this kind of environment.

    Cutting may seem like the solution to ease all the hurt and pain, i have done this as well, it doesn't really fix the situation. Hang in there and i hope you well
     
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