i was expeting a reply like that. Just that she want to me on top of me. even though im 23. she goes quiet if im happy and happy if im sad/unhappy. she is getting old. wants attention as she doesnt get enough anymore, so im er toy. she doesnt really care about my emotions, just that i would be in a position she wants me to be so her own advantage. i dont talk to her anymore. and i will only talk to her once in 3 months from now on, if she does not change (which would be naive to think that she ever would as she is getting old and the damage is done, so i dont think ill EVER be able to trust her).
She wants me to be the little girl of no the little baby that needs her. She is egoistical, selfish........ i did not see thise things earlier in life as i was her child and loved her for whatever she did.
she is manipulative and does not appreciate or capable of understanidn that im an individual and as we are human being and not animals deserve resect as a seperate being from HER. At the bottom of all her thinking etc she thinks she gave me life thus, she can take it away/destroy it.
she feeds her ego through me.
she pretends big time that she is right and i am wrong. she is good and i am bad. she knows more and i dont.
she is ot educated, and vedly never will be therefore, i do not believe that any kid of relationship is possible with someone who tries to hurt you and bring you down.
Sad as i is as she is my mother i have to live on, trying not to fall into the guilty pit and still TRY and believe in the good, in human fairness and justice. It is above the limit of difficulty as a person that in some ways gave life to you can be so EVIL.
Sorry if my reply wasn't what you wanted. I just assumed because you said you wanted to talk about it, that you would want me to ask you to tell me about it.
Do you live with your mum or away from her? If you don't live with her then you don't have to have more contact with her than you want to.
You say yourself that she is probably jealous of you, and I imagine you're right. She sounds very insecure. That's certainly not an excuse for the way she treats you, but it could help you understand why she treats you the way she does.
If she feeds her ego through you, try not to let her. If she sees that she can't bring you down, she'll see no point in behaving the way she does.
"she pretends big time that..." Well at least you are old enough and sensible enough to recognise the fact that she is pretending (a six-year-old, for example, would really take it to heart). You don't actually believe that she is better than you, and so on, and you know that she doesn't actually believe it either. That's something.
Now, I don't mean any offence by this at all, but why do you say she is evil? I understand how hard it is to be in your situation and she's saying some very nasty things and behaving in a nasty way. However, I don't think that anything you've mentioned so far makes your Mum evil. Evil is a very strong word.
Do keep talking about this, it helps to get things out.
Ive made so many mistakes in my previous page, im so embarrased. Hope it wasnt too hard to understand. She is evil in a way that i can see she plays games and she says no she isnt. I think i shouls say more melicious or vicious. I say it because thats how i feel it, thats how it feels. Yes she is very insecure but she is using her own flesh and blood for that. She bullies me and tries to bring me down. I think she suffers from an anxiety disorder and thats what makes her like that. Either way, i dont live with her. I go kicked out my her partner and she stayed with him. Isnt that evil. I live in some horrible horrible hostel and go to university at the same time and take some much shit from people in the hostel cos no one respects anyone there.
Life is hard. The only problem is that she is not educated and this is where we begin to clash. I am im from lithuania myself. Been in london for 10 years and i guess just think so very differnt from her, studied a lot through out and she doesnt understand me.