After 7 years of being on SF, I think it's time to actually write a post. I have nowhere else to go, and no one to turn to anymore. I left SF after a few years when I got my life together - moved out, did well academically, made friends, and even found a partner! But all that changed over the last few months. My partner broke up with me as she got feelings for a mutual friend of ours, and they have been hanging out basically every single day since we broke up. We agreed to all remain friends, but they spend so much alone time together that I can't help but feel something is going on or that my friendship just isn't worth much to either of them. The lack of transparency puts me in a constant state of panic and confusion, and it's deeply affected me academically - I haven't turned up to a single class since semester started. Furthermore, my housemate who also happens to be my best friend completely shut me out when she started having family and mental issues. We have decided to no longer live together, and I thought that our friendship might still continue but I overestimated that and she no longer talks to me even though we still live in the same house. Plus since only her name is on the lease, whenever she decides to move out, I will be effectively homeless. Because the situation at home is incredibly stress-inducing and awkward, I have been staying at my ex-partner's room, but last night she kicked me out very dramatically. I slept outside her house with newspapers covering me and walked home in the morning and had multiple panic attacks throughout today, which is when I realized I desperately needed SF again. I don't have any friends who aren't associated with my housemate or my partner, so I have absolutely no one to turn to. I have been failing academically for the first time in my life due to lack of motivation and concentration. To top that up, I'm unemployed and have trouble even finding a job as a kitchenhand. My parents can't support me financially because they have enough trouble paying their mortgage, and I can't even move back home because all the rooms in the house has been rented out to pay off the mortgage. And also my uncle recently passed away due to lung cancer, and when I saw him in that open casket, I hardly recognized him. Chemo practically turned him into a skeleton. He wasn't even a smoker, and was a very healthy individual. All of this happened within the span of 4 months. Everything that I worked hard for, just when I thought my life was good, and that it was going to take an even better turn, every single thing that could go wrong, went wrong. And now my depression is back worse than ever, and my anxiety is even worse. My insomnia is back, I'm tired all the time, and I have not felt this alone and hopeless for a very long time now.