Music or bust

Discussion in 'Suicidal Thoughts and Feelings' started by SadDude1980, Mar 26, 2009.

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  1. SadDude1980

    SadDude1980 Well-Known Member

    I ain't here for people's opinions about what it takes to make it or not make it in the music industry etc.

    It's just late (2:48 am over here east coast US), I ain't got nobody to talk to and it's gettin to me.

    I'm a pretty bad alcoholic although lately I can't drink unless I sell something dear to me. My xbox360, my playstation portable, some games. Things I actually cherished I traded in for booze money.

    I had a friend of mine from out of town visit for me for a week. I found that life can be good with just simple things. Sure I dont have a dvd collection. Sure I dont have a video game system to crowd around and play games with. But I have movies and stuff on my pc. We just went to my room, put the pc monitor up on a chair, sat down on some large pillows and watched movies and had a good time.

    After he left I felt so utterly lonely again. I spend so much time by myself and I'm not the kind of person who likes to just spend time with anyone just tor the sake of spending time with them.

    I get online there's nobody to talk to. oh well. Bills are closing in. I still can't find a damn job, I got nobody to lean on for support. Ship's finally truly starting to go down unless a miracle happens with my music which I'm trying to begin to spread out there manually for starters.

  2. shades

    shades Staff Alumni

    I've been around for about a month or so now and have had a lot of support from others here so I'd be happy to return the favor and talk to you. I'm on the west coast and should be awake for awhile. I tried to click on the site to chk out your lyrics and music but either my system sucks or I still don't know jack about computers (probably a little of both) so I didn't get a chance to see them. We have something in common in that I'm trying to sell a completed movie script. I think it's the only thing that could possibly save me since most of my issues are money related.:unsure:
  3. SadDude1980

    SadDude1980 Well-Known Member

    Most my issues are money related as well.

    I wish I could find someone in depth, insightful, non judgemental ad critical of others to talk to.

    But I'm not holding my brath. I kind of just exist for the afternoon and into the later hours till I pass out from exhaustion. Don't worry talk to anyone. Don't really do much of anything.

    I know what paople would say, "get a job!" "get invovled with something you care about!" bla bla bla. It's more compolicated than that. If things were that simple I wouldn't be here.

    Anywa. Thanks for listening.


    PS- the main reason I'm here is that i'm hoping against hope I'll find a good person to talk to to get through these times. My sleeping pills can only do so much but when they're gone, I'm worryed that I'm gone.
    Last edited by a moderator: Mar 27, 2009
  4. jameslyons

    jameslyons Well-Known Member


    I'm having problems getting to your music as well. But I just wanted to stop by and say I'm sorry that you're having a tough time. I also have a difficult time with bills (now) and drinking. It can be really tough. :(
  5. Godsdrummer

    Godsdrummer Guest


    Hey!!! I am a retired musician who has delt with money issues and alcoholism too.

    I would suggest if you are having some bad money issues, consider filing a bankruptcy. might want to hit an AA meeting?

    It might help you to clear your head for a day or too, just to help regain some focus.
  6. SadDude1980

    SadDude1980 Well-Known Member

    Sorry about that, the link was outdated linked to some part of this site where they encourage you to post your own works.

    Thanks for the replies.

    I'm not much for AA - tried it before. I know what my problem(s) are an they're very simple just not easy to fix. In the meantime though all my remaining energy, the majority of it anyways, is going to towards spreading my music. I'm already making cd cases with pictures and stuff to go with my best songs. I'm going to hand them out to people I know. Sing live where I can, doesn't matter if it's an old folks home or wherver. It's all I gots left to hope for. :(

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