Musings from a mom on Camp Day

Discussion in 'Rants, Musings and Ideas' started by mdancey, Jun 29, 2008.

  1. mdancey

    mdancey Member

    So here it is, 6:30 am, all the windows are open, the birds are singing and I can hear my beloved gently snoring.....why is it that men can always sleep.....
    Three weeks ago amongst the turmoil of K's life the one thing I was worried about was that she wasn't going to be able to go to camp......here it is 24 days later and I don't want her to go.....
    All her therapists/doctors/councilors say it's the best thing for her, that she'll be in her element, that she'll be able to be who she is among kids just like her......all future writers, actors, directors, artists.....
    4 weeks
    4 weeks is a long time to not see her sweet bedheaded face every morning.......not to know that she is ok when ever I want to know.....

    Oh I know she'll be ok, I do know that in the very soul of my motherhood and I do know it's the very best thing for her......then why do I cry and worry.....
    I cry for only brief moments......when no one is around........red eyes are a dead give away to this mothers heart.
    I long for a day or two at home alone with no work, no family......just me, some music, a bottle of wine and a stock of tissues...

    My beloved and I were suppose to leave for Florida tomorrow. We were going to stay with friends that have a place on Bocca Grande. We were going to swim, eat, drink, deep sea fish, and boat 4 days away. I know he's disappointed and even after everything that happened he still wanted to go......was still holding out hope even up to yesterday morning that I would change my mind. How could I be a day's travel away, when if I stay home I'm only 2 hours away.......if needed. I know that he is disappointed.....he needs this short vacation as do I.......instead he'll be at home with my list....every second line is for him to play golf.......:tongue:

    Things are too good......think I'm waiting, waiting, waiting for the other shoe to drop. I didn't see it coming so I don't know what I'm looking for.....maybe that is the worse part........why didn't I?

    L is going as well for the first 2 weeks......then she is home for two weeks without K.......a nice break for both of them.....I want to ask her to keep an eye on her sister.....but I won't......instead I'm going to pull her aside and tell her that K is NOT her responsibility that she doesn't have to watch out for her while they are there but.........there is always a but from us moms isn't there..........but I will ask her that if, if she is worried to tell someone and call home.......I hope that even that is not too much to put on her young shoulders........

    So my friends......the house will soon be stirring with great excitement for the weeks to come. The bags are packed, my eyes are dry......for now.......I must remember to bring a couple of sheets of paper towel for the ride home (did you know that a good pc of paper towel makes for a most excellent product to wipe the tears and blow your nose.......something I found out quite by mistake 24 days ago......) one for me and one for J..............it's a long ride home........
     
  2. gentlelady

    gentlelady Staff Alumni

    Things will go well and maybe you can use this time to recover and rejuvenate. What you have been through is nothing easy. Try your best not to worry. I think you should still go on that vacation. At least give it a try. You could always come home early if it became to much for you to be that far away. Your mind needs a break too. It isn't like you are going across seas or something. A days drive isn't that far in all reality. Give it some thought. :hug: