Must cut off my woman body parts! TRIGGER!

Discussion in 'Self Harm & Substance Abuse' started by INFERIOR LADY, May 26, 2013.

Thread Status:
Not open for further replies.
  1. INFERIOR LADY

    INFERIOR LADY Active Member

    If you are a woman then I ask you to PLEASE NOT continue reading this if it will hurt or anger you?! This is so weird just as it is PAINFUL but I feel utterly DISGUSTED by my woman body!:apologetic: I feel so grossed out being a woman, no matter how long I spend in the shower scrubbing myself! :soap:I feel like my body is always a lot filthier than a mans! I also feel inferior to men internally as well. I know that I will NEVER be as brave, intelligent, wise, and physically strong as a man. But I know that I will NEVER be as CLEAN as a man. I HATE feeling this way! But it must be TRUE? That is why the most dirogetory dirty insults are directed only toward women and NEVER men! That is women on average have a stronger sence of hygene than men. Because we know we are dirtier and need to shower more frequently and scrub harder. But I feel exceptionally repulsive! I do want a man just to experience how it would be like. But I am afraid I would contaminate his clean body, and am unworthy mentally for any man. I have had men say i'm attractive though for some reason? But it was mostly by men online or by men who I can tell had very LOW self esteem and where so desperate they'd settle for any woman. But I know any man of worth or self respect would turn me down. It happened before that's how I know. Even though my womanly body makes me feel hopelessly vile I still do NOT want to be a man!:tape: I am bisexual but intensely more attracted to men! But I am too gross and inferior for one! The only safe solution I could think of is getting an 'andronynous' change so I don't have any disgusting womanly body parts. And no manly body parts so I could still have a man or stay without one I guess right?!:noidea: I just wish being a woman didn't FORCE me to feel like the LOWEST scum on earth! :dispirited:
     
  2. Witty_Sarcasm

    Witty_Sarcasm Writer, Musician, Fun Lover, Magic Maker

    I can relate to this somewhat, not about the hating myself for being a woman, but just for wanting to hurt myself in any way possible, because I think I'm a disgusting person inside and out. You aren't bad or scum or anything like that, and you are worthy of a guy who treats you well. Have you been hurt by guys, or are there other reasons why you feel inferior to men? I have been hurt by almost every man I've had in my life, and so I have a bit of trust issues there...and don't feel I should be treated well...I don't know what your situation is, but I wonder if you've gone through anything similar. I know you don't believe it, but you are a good person and you shouldn't hate yourself so much :hug:
     
  3. INFERIOR LADY

    INFERIOR LADY Active Member

    I have never been abused by guys to that extent. I have had trouble with guys before though. But MOST of my abuse was caused by other women to be 100% truthful. But honestly both genders have problems with the opposite gender as well as the same gender. I NEVER felt this way until after becoming a Christian and reading the entire 'good book' though? Even after throwing my bibles away and becoming an ex christian these feelings still remain? But it is a psychological and biological fact that I am inferior to men. P.s. very important. I am NOT trying to offend other women! So please do NOT be offended?! Thanks for your concern though.
     
    Last edited by a moderator: May 26, 2013
  4. NYJmpMaster

    NYJmpMaster Have a question? Message Me Staff Member Forum Owner ADMIN

    I do not want to get off topic here and I understand your topic to be how you feel about yourself in general or as a woman and your perception of self worth. It is often said perception is more important than fact in many instances and I believe this is one of them. I do not honestly have a great deal of advice on how to deal with the self image and self esteem problem effectively - but it needs to be deal with in some manner before you will be able to be happy I think. Certainly counseling may be of use.

    So far as the fact you state - it would depend on what you are measuring. If you say physically because of averages in physical strength and endurance of males and females okay - but i can say I am biologically inferior because of slower reflexes and less hand eye coordination, lower dexterity, and less flexibility as an average male to the average female and a lower threshold to physical pain. Psychologically, I may have a less obvious emotional response as an average male to the average female, but my actual decision making will be greater influenced by it and and male intelligence while never being higher in standardized IQ tests on averages declines faster with age than a female.

    The facts you state are your perceptions and where you are choosing to place emphasis. It would be naive of me to tell you it is not true and expect you to simply change the way you feel so I will not bother as the way a person feels is not something most can control - certainly I cannot. But please consider the possibility that the way you feel is a result of life and environment more than fact and that life and environment can be changed - even if it is very difficult sometimes.
     
    Last edited by a moderator: May 26, 2013
  5. INFERIOR LADY

    INFERIOR LADY Active Member

    Oh yeah to Witty_Sarcasm, I could not fall asleep until after I posted again to you. I am so very SORRY you have suffered abuse as well in your life! Even though our abuses were slightly different I still apologize. I also apologize for sounding cold and insensitive to you in my first response. Please don't be hurt by it?:concern: The interesting thing is to me when some Men would actually believe that women are their equals? Even mentally? My Dear Younger Brother, and Best Friend in the entire world calls Himself a 'Feminist'? Bless his precious heart. I can't understand how he being a Man could even be a feminist? And he can't understand how me being a woman is ANTI-feminist? He is way too smart to think like that? He is so sweet to keep telling me that we are equals. However there is plenty of well studied documented scientific statistical evidence to PROVE that we are NOT! Trust me I NEVER get emotional about any subject if there is no LOGIC behind it. I adore scientific proof of facts. And when I did my own research it PROVED that women<men! It rings true in my family too. It is always the men who posses the greater scientific minds, even though I LOVE and am FASCINATED by science too! And the ones who always fix everything that breaks. Besides men and women are built biologically different. With how the woman's you know what is different than a man's it makes it dirty faster, more prone to infection, and harder to clean that a man's. I would love it if we were really EQUAL but were NOT! And the endless pain and despair it forces upon me hurts so bad! I can NOT take it most of the time! I am tired of feeling dirty after I shower! I am tired of being a coward and an idiot! But I am NOT a Man so their is nothing I can do about! A sex change is NEVER an option either, just in case I do seek a Man for intimacy and a relationship. But I am unworthy of most men. I feel like dirt compared to them, especially the most sweet BEAUTIFUL Men!:torn:
     
  6. Witty_Sarcasm

    Witty_Sarcasm Writer, Musician, Fun Lover, Magic Maker

    Hey, you never upset me, so don't worry about it :) But I just feel bad that you or anyone else has to feel this way, because it shouldn't be that way. No one should have to suffer at all.
     
  7. INFERIOR LADY

    INFERIOR LADY Active Member

    Whew! I am so glad you didn't get upset Ma-am. :emmersed: You should NOT have to suffer either. Thanks to everyone on my posts for being very sweet and caring. I would most of the time get HATE by this from other jezuz freekz when I WAS a jezuz freek! But you all have been so kind. My sincere appreciation goes out to you all for it. One things for 100% sure though. In my next life I am coming back as a MAN. I will NEVER come back as a woman again!:uncomfortableness: :mad-new:
     
Thread Status:
Not open for further replies.