I'm so sick of life. I don't want to live at all any more. I care about my family and don't want to hurt them , but I have no choice. I'm so depressed. I think about suicide all day. I hate my self, I have a sick mind. I think about death and sex and other things too much. It seems like their is no chance of me ever getting better. I finished taking all my dep meds. Its been three weeks or so now why aren't these fuckers working. They are my last hope. I'm tired of being alone, never having any one to love. I think of my self as so negatively, I hate the way I look I hate my body its disgusting and fat. The failed beings that are doomed to die alone, am I not one of them? I think about how to improve the quality of life for people a lot. and also how we will evolve. I want to make the world a better place. The world may not be able to be perfect but that doesn't mean it cant be better. Humans should work hard, use their reason and logic work together for the best world possible. Thats my ideology. We need to get past all these things that are holding us back. Its only a matter of time before it does happen really. I can't do shit to help though. I cant even help myself. Every one should have the right to die at least. Some times i read my older post and laugh at myself, hope this post doesn't embarrass me too much.